Page 120 of The New Place

He scrambles to his feet. Pants. A shirt. Peggy, he thinks, seeing her bedroom door open.

Downstairs, her shoes are gone, and with them her coat and backpack, and Dad’s things as well. Took the Pegster to school, he’s texted Ned when Ned finally fumbles for his phone.

There’s nothing from Abbot. Ned checks again, like a message will have suddenly appeared as he stands in bare feet in the kitchen, but his phone stays silent.

Mom’s not here either, or Baxter, her heavy jacket and Baxter’s retractable leash apparently taken with her, leaving the house empty and silent.

No, not empty. Abbot stands with his back so very straight, staring out the window above the sink and holding a mug of tea.

Ned comes up behind him, wraps his arms around his shoulders, and buries his face in his neck.

“Morning,” he mumbles into the sweet smell of Abbot’s skin.

“Hello.”

“How’re you doing?”

“Fine.”

“I love you.”

“Yes, you said.”

Ned steps around to see him better. Abbot looks rubbed raw, his eyes tired and his gaze barely meeting Ned’s.

Oh, Ned wants to wrap him up in a blanket and stroke his hair until Abbot’s smiling again. Ply him with tea and treats and fuss over him, tell him again and again that he’s the most perfect person Ned knows.

“Want to know what’s amazing?” Ned doesn’t wait for an answer. “We’re working together next year.”

“I suppose we are.”

Ned kisses his cheek, his jaw, his temple. Abbot’s as stiff as he was last night, jaw set, twitching every time Ned shifts. It’s a wonder either of them got any sleep.

Be happy, Ned thinks, and kisses him again. “Not a bad thing at faculty meetings, to know I’ve got the hottest guy in the room.”

“Is that what you’ll be thinking about?” He should have the beginning of a smile, but his face is still drawn.

Ned kisses the corner of his mouth. “Well, no. It’s a faculty meeting. We’ll both be waiting for it to be over. Think this department will be as absurd to work for as Chris was?”

“When it’s your turn to be chair, you can come up with your own creative initiatives.”

Good, yes, there, a few words pointing forward. Ned will take them and run with it. “No, everyone will realize you run the most efficient meetings they’ve ever seen and never let you give up the position. Sorry, you’ll be stuck with it.”

“Oh, no thank you,” Abbot says and Ned revels in the softening of his voice. “My first act will be to depose myself.”

“Maybe we can team up and convince someone they really want to take it on long term. I’ll sweet-talk them and you put together the numbers to show what a great idea it is.”

“That is a much better plan.” Abbot tips his face for a kiss that tastes like his tea.

He doesn’t want to talk. He never does, and he won’t, Ned knows. But he shook something loose last night, and no matter how Abbot retreats, he can’t fit it back inside that private, deep place he so likes to keep shut tight.

It’s a precious thing, that confidence. The terror with which Abbot spoke, that sliver of trust extended, and Ned wants to grip it with both hands and prove he’ll hold on as tight as he can.

“Let’s get those offer letters,” he says and pulls out his phone. “And I’ll do the talking with Beverly when we call her, so you don’t have to.”

“I’m really fine.”

“I know.” Ned’s letting Abbot lie, but he’s allowed to for today at least. To recover a bit from last night. Ned leans in and kisses him again. “I still will, though.”