Page 89 of Weddings, Revenge & Fake Dating

“This is good. I’m glad this happened,” I say with bitter amusement. The timing of this catty encounter is a special kind of perfect. I straighten my dress, taking the extra moment to ground myself and rein in my awkwardness.

“Did Nathan tell you?” Natasha says. “He’s been chosen to be the next Bachelor King! We fly to LA tonight.”

“Bachelor King?” We?

My eyes widen as I turn to Nathan. This is the show he mentioned the other day, the one he couldn’t talk about. It’s the reality TV show where twelve women compete to win the heart of one bachelor. My mom is obsessed. The entire country is obsessed.

“That’s great. Congratulations.” My lips tremble.

“I haven’t accepted⁠—”

“No.” I cut off Nathan and steady my emotions. I reach out to shake his hand like it’s the business transaction it was always meant to be. “Nathan, good luck with your big job. I know you’ll be fantastic. And thank you for your help this week, but I won’t need your sex-machine services anymore.”

I bump Natasha as I leave them. She bristles, though I take no joy in our interaction. I didn’t intend to have this discussion with Nathan tonight. Everything’s crashing in on me at once.

This time, I weave through the party without taking out another server. I need to be careful not to draw more attention to myself because I’m searching for the best place to hide and lick my wounds.

Nathan catches up and grabs my arm. “Jeanie, I want to finish this conversation.”

“You told Natasha we were fake dating?” I feel betrayed, not to mention all the messy feelings I have about him going on a dating show. We had a secret arrangement.

I glance across the pool and find Natasha studying us with keen interest. So are several people from the party, but I don’t care anymore.

“I wanted her to know why she was moving my tour dates. I told her the truth, and now she’s acting like this because she’s jealous. She and I used to have a thing.”

“What’s the truth? I don’t even know anymore.” I slap my thighs, frantically looking around the party, anywhere but him. Tears roll down my cheeks.

“The truth is this was never fake to me. I was lost to you the moment you flashed me your mango milkshake. Hell, I was all in years ago. I care about you. I care about your kid. I’m not ready for this to end.”

“What about the reality show?”

“Fuck the show.”

I roll my lips inward. Even though I don’t watch it, I know it’s a big deal. It would be life-changing for his career. This is the big break he dreamed of, and I would never stand in his way. It’s another reason to let him go.

“This, whatever we had, was never going to work. We were barreling toward the end from the moment we met. We’ve always had an expiration date.” I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand.

“Don’t say that. You know we’re great together. I know you feel it too.”

“That’s the problem. I do feel it.” I place a hand over my heart. It beats rapid-fire under my skin. It’s falling apart in real time.

“Then let’s figure out what comes next,” he begs, looking hopeful.

“It’s only a matter of time before you realize we’re all wrong for each other and you leave, like everyone else in my life.”

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. You’re pushing me away on purpose.”

Nathan reaches for me, but I step beyond his touch. His hand slips away.

I can’t stand to look in his eyes, knowing he knows. That he’s figured me out so fast.

I’m emotionally frozen in place and too scared to see where this will go at the chance of failing in love again. How can I let myself hope for something this beautiful when the only outcome I’ve ever experienced is catastrophe? It’s best to set up my barricades now.

“Sorry,” I mouth and pivot to leave.

“Are you getting back together with Roman? I saw you two go to the beach.” Nathan’s words are terse and accusatory.

I halt in mid-step, my shoulders tense.