Page 90 of Weddings, Revenge & Fake Dating

“Roman wants me back.” It’s all I need to say. Making Nathan believe Roman’s still in play is the quickest way to cut our cord.

Nathan circles me. “For once in your life, think about yourself. Stop putting everyone else’s needs above your own. Happiness is all I want for you. There’s no one who deserves it more.”

“Is that your final life-coaching advice?” I twist my words, making them snarky like I’m picking a fight. I’m a coward.

“No, this is. You don’t even know your own strength. You don’t need Roman or any man. You never did. Not back then, and not now. The power to get everything you want out of life is already inside you. You only need to be brave enough to wield it.” His nostrils flare on a deep inhale.

I stare at him, taking in everything he said, and unable to look away. I’m irritated he’s so flawless. I set my jaw, determined to stay the course.

“Noted. Thank you. I’ll make sure to leave you an amazing review,” I say, driving my disappointment into the moment.

I’m resentful that he sees all of me. That he believes in me, that he only wants what’s best.

I stay rooted in my spot, even though I’m crying. I need Nathan to leave first. Then it will seem like he was the one who gave up, not me.

He rubs the scruff of his face with both hands. They settle on his hips, where he studies me for a long moment as if he’s deciding if I’m worth the fight.

News flash. I’m not.

“This is not a breakup. When you’re ready to be loved the way you deserve, come find me. I’ll be waiting,” he says with a shake of his head.

Nathan is halfway across the pool deck when his words sink in. I don’t even know how to react.

I watch him move toward the beach. When Natasha catches up to him at the ridge of the dunes, I look away. She represents his bright future, and there’s no place for me there.

I groan and drag my bare feet through the hotel.

Putting my sadness aside, I search for Dex. He’s nowhere to be found. I call his cell phone, but he doesn’t answer. Then I text him and explain what happened with Roman. I can tell by the bouncing bubbles on the screen he reads the message, but he doesn’t respond.

That’s okay, he’s processing. This is proof he’s alive. In fact, I hope he still went to his VIP party. Maybe it will make him forget what he saw tonight. We will talk about this family mess soon enough.

Sitting by the phone in my hotel room, I discover a note scribbled on the hotel stationery notepad.

You looked so beautiful sleeping, I didn’t want to wake you. Natasha showed up, meeting her for a drink.

Be back soon.

xo, N

Too upset to sleep and too in shock to shower, I wrap myself in a comforter and wander onto the terrace. I stretch out on the lounge chair and stare up at the stars.

Below me, the luau goes through all its planned events. Dinner is served. Dancers perform. Partygoers play the limbo. After prizes are given, they pull the plug on the ukulele music.

Earlier, I texted Sophia and told her I was sick, and that she should reappoint Natasha as her maid of honor. It’s not really a lie because I am sick. I’m sick with myself.

Instead of raising the bar for my life, I lowered it all the way to the ground, dug a hole, and laid the bar in the molten core of the earth where it melted. I lied about having a boyfriend so I could get close to Sophia and sabotage the wedding from the inside.

It worked. Now Roman wants me back.

I’m a monster.

And though I didn’t set out to, I hurt Nathan, the person who’s treated me with more respect than I’ve ever had from any man in my life. The insecurities and fears that faded away when he was around reared their ugly head as soon as things got complicated.

Maybe Dex inherited his running-away issues from me?

“Jeanie!” A muffled voice calls my name.

The glass door to Mom’s room slides open. She steps onto the terrace, and I crank my head toward the sound. Her silhouette crosses to my wall.