Page 9 of His Holy Chaos

Alfie and I see each other every day at work, remotely, but I miss him like crazy. He's the only person in the world that truly knows how I feel. He stopped going to BratWorld too, after his ex-Dom cheated on him. It was proper messy. It hurts to remember how we used to go there every day of the week and weekends to have fun together. It hurts even more to realize how long ago that was.

I'm about to start reminiscing again. I have a bad habit of doing that. It makes me depressed.

Alfie is a switch, and Glynn used to be his sub. That ended after Alfie stopped going to the club, but they never had hard feelings toward each other; they're still friends and talking. Which is great because Glynn is also my friend. But boy, do they gossip.

"He was fucking hot. Also fucking boring." I text Alfie. "He went home at eleven. Can you believe it? He was with Dave, but they're only friends. Dave says he is the guy's only friend. I'd love to meet him again, but I didn't even get the chance to get his number."

Alfie texts back right away. He usually disappears for days, and if I didn't work with him, I'd probably never see or hear from him, that bastard. He's generally bad with technology, even though we work for an IT company. IT and kink aren't a Venn diagram, it's a circle. But this time he texts back fast, so I know he's interested.

"Well, we can find out more about him. I'll ask Glynn to ask Dave."

"Sure," I text back. "I could use some fun."

"Yes, you really could."

I roll my eyes at that implication, but I'm smiling.

So, that's how I end up finding out about Ford's church. Dave was enthusiastic about telling us everything through Glynn. He said Ford has never had a serious partner, only casual subs, and he needs to get out of the house more. Dave gave us everything we needed: choir practice location, rehearsal time, service time. Ford is the choir director, and apparently that's all he thinks about.

Well, I'd make him think about something else.

"You have to come with me," I tell Alfie. "I won't be brave enough to go by myself."

And that asshole answers, "Sure, I'll pick you up at 8:45 tomorrow."

He must be really keen on doing that, because we both work late. I work until 4 AM on the night shift. He works until midnight. Not as bad, but still not good. If he's offering to go with me like that, he knows he can't miss this opportunity. It reminds me once again how much my close friends worry about me. I abandoned kink and the scene and told them over and over that I'm vanilla now, that I would never be part of a dynamic again, and that I didn't need anybody. But they don't let it go.

That's how I end up in that guy's church at 9 AM, the wee hours of the morning, when I should be sound asleep.

But everything's worth it when I see his expression of pure surprise.

Ford is even more handsome here. He was beautiful in the club, but he didn't look comfortable. Here, he's in his element. He's wearing a blazer that looks very expensive. His beard is neatly trimmed, like he paid someone a hundred dollars to fix it for him, and I don't doubt that's the case. His hair is perfect, silver-streaked, and I wonder how old he is. He's getting close to his fifties or maybe he's in his mid-fifties already. Great. A Daddy. My favorite type of men. He has these beautiful blue eyes, and he's fit. Besides that, he's absolutely comfortable leading the rest of the people there. At least fifteen to twenty people are singing, and it can't be easy to control all of them at once, but he does it as if it's second nature to him.

After the initial shock of seeing me, he proceeds to ignore me and goes back to doing his thing. I don't know how any of that works, but it sounds amazing, and when he sings to demonstrate the right notes, I'm in awe. His voice is brilliant.

Alfie and I sit in the back, on those very hard wooden church benches. I wonder if they want us to be uncomfortable in church on purpose, especially Catholic churches. My mom always used to take me when I was younger, but we only went some Sundays, and she didn't really follow the religion very much. We ended up dropping it eventually, which I was very grateful for, because it was a fucking bore to sit there quietly listening to how flawed we are and all of our sins. Now that I'm older, I kind of like it. Hearing about how I did wrong and how I am going to be punished for eternity. It doesn't get better than that.

When Ford's done, he talks to a few people, shakes hands, smiles, and waits until the room is absolutely empty to even acknowledge I'm still there. Then, he comes my way. I immediately get kind of nervous. He has a commanding presence, it's impossible to ignore him when he chooses to address you.

Delicious.

Alfie and I get up. Alfie is ridiculously attractive, even more than me, in my opinion. He could be a model or an actor easily. He's taller than me, but not by much, lean but still strong, with crazy defined muscles. He has olive skin, brown eyes, and beautiful mustard-colored hair that he keeps short and styled to the side. He's wearing a leather jacket and a white shirt, black jeans, and sunglasses. Always more put together than me. As Ford approaches, Alfie takes off his sunglasses and winks at me. "I gotta go. Nice to meet you, Daddy," he says, teasing. He's always bolder than me. I almost ask him not to go. I want his company all the time.

"What are you doing here?" Ford asks me after the door closes and Alfie is gone. He looks really annoyed that I'm in his domain without his permission. "I know what you're doing, boy, and it's not going to work," he says.

"Yeah? What am I doing?" I ask him, and I see his cheeks flush a little.

"You're trying to get to me."

"Am I?" I ask again, faking innocence. He doesn't seem amused at all. "I want to convert, obviously. Repent. I want to be good. Let me join your class."

"Hah! Good joke. Can you even sing?" he asks, and I realize he's way more ticked off than he should be. That's going to be fun.

"Well, you'll never know if you don't give me a chance, Mr. Dom."

"Don't call me that," he hisses. "How did you find me? Wait, this was Dave, wasn't it?" He's very smart.

"I'm here to get closer to God," I say again, and he looks at me with an untrusting expression.