Page 100 of Broken Vows

Standing outside his bedroom, my heart thuds so loudly it climbs into my ears. I press my knuckles against the wooden door, but my body refuses to let me knock. Come on, come on. Just do this. I exhale a shaky, hard breath, then tap.

No answer.

I rap my knuckles again.

Still no answer.

Is this a good or bad thing? Maybe he’s looking for me. Maybe he’s searching for his bride. Maybe he’s at one of the bars, drowning his sorrows. My stomach knots. I crack open the door and step inside the empty bedroom.

My gaze immediately sweeps to the bed that loosely resembles Theo’s bedroom, and I think of how he claimed me, marked me, convinced me I was his. Those fleeting moments were the last time I felt whole.

Whole.

Goddammit. I don’t want to be broken. I don’t want to keep wondering what could’ve been. I brush my hand against the silky goose-down comforter. I close my eyes and picture his mouth, his smile, the way he looked at me these last few months. The way he saw me more than anyone has ever seen me. I picture his fingers brushing my skin, his lips moving against me, his scent. I’m lost in my own world when I hear the soft click of a door behind me.

“Lexie.”

When I turn around, my breath catches at a clean-shaven Theo, standing in mirror-shined shoes, a white button-down shirt with a black tie, a sharp black tuxedo vest, and black pants. He looks every bit the dashing groom, and my aching heart leaps into my throat.

“Hi.” My voice is barely above a whisper, and from where he’s standing at the corner of the room, I’m not even sure he can hear me.

“Hi.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and takes a long, sweeping gaze over me. But the heat-laced look that he usually gives me is gone, replaced by one that is more grief-stricken than lust-filled.

He’s not happy. Anyone can see it. Regret fills his whiskey-brown eyes. Is it for me? For what he’s about to do? I’m hanging on to a delicate thread of hope and wondering how much weight it can take before it snaps.

I swallow back all the nerves. Am I going to do this? Am I really going to do this? I don’t know if I can. I want to. If I don’t tell him how I feel, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. But, my insides are trembling so bad, I’m not sure I can push out the words. “I can’t believe your wedding day is finally here.”

His eyes don’t sparkle. But they’re not sharp, or narrowed, or angry. They’re more… soft… and I struggle to interpret the meaning. “Yeah. Same.”

My mouth is bone dry. Fuck, this is terrible. I should run. Just turn right around and run right out of this room. After a long pause, I sigh. “Feels like the end of an era, huh?”

The tiniest bit of his lips curve, but it’s not a smile. “It really does.”

Everything with Theo feels like it has come full circle. From college, to seeking revenge, to being together, to heartbreak. And now, after today, the Theo I once held onto, who seesawed between saturating my dreams, then nightmares, then dreams again, will be gone.

“I… uh… I think I can help with your investigation,” I say and his eyebrows crease in confusion. “What you said about your dad, it didn’t sit right with me. I kept thinking how strange it was for my dorm roommate to drop out of school like that, so I tracked her down. I told her how I’d taken over her student aide position with your dad, and if she was doing okay, and apologized for not reaching out to her at the time. She didn’t say much at first, but the more we spoke, the more she opened up about her experience at St. Benedicts.”

I twirl the rings on my finger, fully aware that I’m hiding behind the investigation to postpone the conversation I really need to have with him. But Theo deserves to know there might be a way to get justice for these women. “After she dropped out, she ended up going to Penn State,” I say. “She’s a doctor now.”

A sliver of hope flickers through his eyes. “A doctor?”

I nod. “A pediatrician in Pennsylvania.”

We both know what this means. As much as it shouldn’t matter what position a woman holds, or the socioeconomic class she belongs to, our twisted society pays closer attention to these women than others. A doctor willing to corroborate the stories of his father will lend weight to the rest. It would force people to listen.

“We’re going to meet next week when she’s in the city,” I say, still hardly able to look at him. “I think she’ll come forward, especially if it’ll help the other women.”

His throat rolls with a swallow. “This is incredible, Lexie. Thank you.”

I nod and finally drop my hands. “I can share your contact information with her. And if it’ll help, I’ll vouch for you.”

“You’d do that?” he says.

“Of course. You’re fighting for these women. I hope you don’t stop.”

So many moments stretch between us. I wonder if he’s thinking the same thing as me. The surreality of the day settles in the last few months, the last nearly eight years. How we each found love, then lost it. How today could be the day we finally go our separate ways.

We found love.