Page 69 of Mr. Match

We fuck for the camera like that. My mouth on her neck. Whispering all the things she needs to hear. But it all comes down to this. “I love you,” I say, closing my eyes and burying my face in her hair.

I know I can fix her problems. Her problems don’t really worry me.

My problems though?

That’s a whole other matter. And it would really suck to save her and leave her alone in the end. It would really, really suck to lose in order for her to win.

But I don’t care. It has to be done. I will go down fighting and I will be OK with it as long as I know she’s safe when it’s over.

Chapter Thirty - KATYA

I can feel the tension in Oliver’s body as we make love and take pictures together. But the lovemaking is soft and slow. More tender than we usually do it. And after we climax, and after we take about a hundred pictures to commemorate the occasion, we are right back where we started this day. In bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms.

“We’re not making much progress,” I say, smiling even though it’s not a light moment. The sex started out filled with apprehension and uneasiness but I’m relaxed now. It’s funny, knowing what I do. What’s coming in the next day or two.

But Oliver always did that for me. Life was so complicated back when I first came to this town. I was a bundle of nerves. Scared and on the verge of panic at almost every turn.

And then I sat on that bench. And Oliver Shrike came walking across the street to save me from a would-be predator.

I smile.

“What are you thinking about?” Oliver says, his voice thrumming against my back.

I wonder if I could possibly put it in words. I don’t know, but I try anyway. “You know, like… there’s usually a moment.”

“A moment?” he asks, playing with my hair.

“In an action movie or a thriller book.” I turn my whole body so I can look at him while I talk.

“Go on,” he says, smiling without the tension.

“So in those kinds of movies or books it’s all go, go, go action. The stakes just keep getting higher and higher. And luck keeps running out. But then there’s this break, right? A slowdown of sorts. And people can relax for a second and catch their breath.”

“Right,” he says. “I’m with you.”

“And everyone starts thinking, We can beat this thing. It doesn’t matter what the thing is. Alien invasion, or imminent terrorist attack. or something stupid, like getting caught in a lie. Whatever. There is always this moment that tricks them into feeling good. I feel like I’m that moment with you.”

“Kat,” Oliver says. “It’s gonna be fine. I promise.”

“I know. I believe you.” And I do. So my smile isn’t even fake. “But that’s my point. The characters always believe it. They have that one night together where they get a good meal, or fuck like bunnies, or get away with the lie. And they know that nothing can beat them in that moment. Nothing. They hold all the power. They have all the answers. They are the good guys and even though they are out-weaponed, or out-financed, or ill-prepared and things look like this is for sure gonna be the end—they have all the heart it takes to fight that one last battle and win.”

He leans in and kisses me. And I know he does this because he understands the moment I’m talking about. It’s the moment right before the shit hits the fan.

The moment when the aliens kill one of them and leave the other one alone to finish the job and live on forever and ever knowing they won and they failed at the same goddamned time.

It’s that moment when one of the good guys is about to disarm that terrorist bomb but instead it goes off in his hands. So the partner has to go on. Get that last bomb. Save the world… alone.

It’s that moment, after the ship sinks and there’s just two people in that lifeboat. They are out of water and food. Have been for too many days to get through another one. And then they see land is just up ahead. They are saved.

But there is another moment in those movies or books. A moment when the boss alien captures the last hero and no one else has a chance. Or the moment when the terrorist figures out where the lone partner will be and meets them there to make damn sure that bomb goes off. Or the sharks come and now the two survivors understand what fear really is. What failure really looks like. They can’t both make it to land. There must be a sacrifice.

“The hopeless hope moment,” I say. “When the sharks come and you know you’re done for.”

“Real life isn’t a movie.”

“I know.” I sigh. “Believe me, I know. If this was a movie someone would’ve saved me. Even if Gori Senior had his fucking cock out, ready to rape me. In a movie someone would’ve stopped him at the last second and made it all OK.”

“Fuck. Kat—”