Page 119 of Taking Turns

“Nothing,” I say. “You don’t bother with me at midnight.”

“Because I can’t touch you without Bric.”

“I’m not the one who gave you that rule.”

“But you’re OK with it?”

“I don’t think this is what people do on Christmas Eve Eve.”

“You’d be wrong. The holidays are the perfect time for family fights.”

“Family—” I laugh. “Come on, Smith. I’ve known you what, a month? If that?”

“What will it take,” Smith says, his voice rising, “to change your mind and make you want to just be with me?”

“To change my mind about the arrangement? Nothing, Smith. Nothing you can say or do will change my mind about this arrangement.”

“So you want all four of us to be together.”

“Yes,” I say, tired of talking about this. “Yes, I do. I want it. And I’m going to ask for it when Quin comes over Sunday night.”

He just stares at me. The seconds tick off and then… “OK. Then what? Once you get that, then what? You’ll stay?”

“I might. I don’t know yet.”

“You’re lying, Chella.”

I huff out a breath of air, then grab my napkin off my lap and toss it on the table. “I’m done,” I say, getting up from my chair.

Smith stands as well. “Just tell me what you’re doing and I’ll back off. But I don’t like being manipulated.”

I throw up my hands. “How am I manipulating you?”

“I don’t know, but you are. Quin and Bric are happy to forget how we found you. They don’t care about you, Chella. That’s why they’re OK with letting it go. But I actually like you. And I know you’re lying to me about something. So what is it?”

I want to tell him, I really do. Because I like him back. A lot. But I can’t tell him now. Not yet. Not when I’m so close to what I came for. “I got you a Christmas present,” I blurt, desperate to change the subject. I know it won’t work, but I try it anyway.

His frown eases a little and then he smiles. “What did you get me?”

I sigh out a long breath of relief. Thankful. “It’s pretty special, but I can’t give it to you yet. I have to save it a little longer. It’s a present for later, Smith. Something more meaningful than I want to share with you now.”

“Because you’re not done with Bric and Quin?” His words are angry at first. “And you have to finish that before you can start something new?” But they are soft by the time he’s done.

I nod. “Yes. That’s exactly it. I have to finish what I started and then I have a gift for you. So I hope you can wait a little longer.”

He walks around the table and stands in front of me. I can tell he wants to touch me. Maybe very badly. But he stuffs his hands in his pockets, like he usually does when he needs to control his urges around me. The rules, it seems, are meaningful to him. “I can wait.”

“Good. I’m glad. I really am.”

“Did you get Bric and Quin a gift?”

“Yes,” I say. “But it’s not the same.”

His eyes go sad for a moment. “How are they different?”

“They just are. Can we please talk about this next week?”

He thinks about my request for a few moments. Trying to read between the lines, I bet. And he must kind of get it, even though I know he has no clue what’s really happening. Because he says, “Sure. I can wait. And besides, I got you a present too. And I don’t want to wait, so I’m gonna give it to you now.”