Page 59 of Wasted Lust

God, that is sad. “You’re safe now. OK? And maybe you should say no tomorrow. You can say no and I’ll still want you. I don’t care about the job, Sasha. Really. I don’t. I was so persistent because I thought I’d get to keep you around. I thought I’d get to see you every day. We might become friends. And then maybe more than friends.”

Her chest hitches for a moment and there’s a split second when I think she might cry. But she draws in a long breath of air and gets it under control. “I thought we were flipping tomorrow the finger?”

“We are,” I say, rolling us over again. She lets out a small squeal and I take that as encouragement. I want her to be happy. I don’t want her to feel used by me tonight. I don’t want to take her. I want to feel her.

I inch my way down her body, kissing the soft skin of her breasts as I go. I squeeze the nipple of one and suck gently on the other. She moans and brings a leg up. Just the sensation of it brushing against mine is erotic.

“It’s all about you right now, killer. All about you.” I continue my journey south, my tongue dancing along her belly, then her hip. I nip her skin and she buckles her back, urging me to find my final destination. “Fuck, you’re so goddamned sexy.” My tongue flirts with the tip of her pussy, easily finding her sweet spot. I lick small circles around it and then nip the inside of her thigh.

“Keep going,” she urges softly. Her fingers are threaded in my hair, grabbing tight fistfuls, like she’s holding on for dear life. And then she pushes me into her folds, her hips doing a little dance along with my tongue.

I grab her clit gently between my lips and then suck. Not hard—she is far too soft to make this hard—but just enough. Just enough flicking of my tongue. Just enough movement of my lips. Just enough of my fingers reaching between her legs to find her opening before sliding in.

Everything tonight is just enough to make her come.

And she does. She contracts her muscles around my finger and she comes on my face with barely a whimper. But I know that giving herself to me like this is surrender. And letting me take control of her body this way is a gift.

“Fuck,” she moans, once the contractions stop. I kiss her once more and then roll off to the side and scoot up to her face. Her eyes are closed, so I surprise her with a taste of herself. Never knowing what to expect from this woman, I have a moment of fear that she will push me off and call me disgusting.

But she doesn’t.

She takes my offering and reaches down for my cock.

“We don’t have to go any further,” I whisper into her mouth.

“Yes,” she says, opening her eyes, saying it back just as softly. Like we’re keeping secrets. “We do.” She climbs on top of me and holds my cock in her fist. Her hand is small, barely arching around my wide girth. And then she lifts up and flicks it across her wet opening before easing back down. She slumps towards me, resting her head on my shoulder like we are lovers.

I wrap my hands around her back and hold her tight as I sit up straight, leaning against the headboard. She moves her hips, rubbing herself with each back and forth motion.

I cup her face again and tilt her head towards me so I can kiss her. And then, just as she really begins to move, I grab her ass with one hand and place my finger over her lips one more time.

I fuck her mouth as she moves on my dick. Our motion is synchronized, like we’ve done this a million times before. Like we know all the small movements, all the tiny gestures that will make each other climax. The motion of her lips. The friction of our bodies. Her long hair gently caressing my chest.

We are love in slow motion. We move as one, leaving the darkness behind, where it belongs, and become the light.

This is the moment I realize we are in this together. No matter what it takes—I don’t care what the sacrifice is—Sasha is mine. She deserves me. She deserves a man of truth. She deserves loyalty and love. She deserves to let her past go, embrace her present, and find her future. I will do whatever it takes to keep her safe so she can find that future, even if it means putting my own life on the line. I will die for her.

“I will die for you too,” I moan as she sucks on my finger. Tasting herself. Embracing herself. What she was, who she is, and what she can be if given the chance to live out her destiny.

She pulls away and frowns down at me. “Please don’t die, Jax.” She says it with such emotion, I feel her sadness flow through me. “Please don’t die. I won’t be able to live if I lose another person in my life. I won’t be able to go on. Promise me, Jax. Promise me you won’t leave me. And promise me you won’t kill Nick.”

“Sasha…”

“I can’t lose him, Jax. I know he’s not the boy I thought I knew, but I can’t lose him. I need to know he’s alive. Even if it’s in prison. Just the thought of him dying makes me want to shrivel up into a tiny ball of sadness.”

Fuck. “I can try, OK?”

“No, Jax. I need you to promise that the only way you will kill him is if he’s trying to kill you. Promise me that much, at least.”

I stroke her hair and kiss her mouth, but she ducks away and hides her face in my neck. I give in. I can’t help it. It’s the mission objective anyway. Bring them in alive is always better than dead. “I promise, then. I promise. I will do anything to make you happy again.”

She lets out a long breath, like she was holding it in until she got my answer. And even though every rational person on this planet understands that life and death don’t obey the law of promises, she believes me. I know she believes me because we climax together. And once again I find myself coming inside her. I hold her close and moan into her neck as I fill her up in every way possible. I don’t care one bit about the consequences. I don’t care that I made her a promise that I can’t keep or she accepted it on misplaced faith.

I do not care.

She is mine and I’m going to keep her forever.

“Yeah,” Jax growls into his cell phone. My eyes are refusing to open, even though I can tell by his ensuing silence something is wrong on the other end. “When?” More silence. “Where’d they take him?” He breathes out a long breath of air and I manage to open my eyes in time to watch him rub his hand down his face and swing his feet over the side of the bed so he can sit up. “I’ll be there in two hours.”