Page 94 of Veiled Vixen

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - ASSHOLE

While most of the Mighty Boss collective was getting ready for the Akeelians from Wayward Station, one of the personalities was having a serious discussion with Asshole about joining the entanglement.

Asshole knew this was called ‘the hard sell’. This invitation wasn’t a casual thing. At some point in the past the Boss had come to some kind of conclusion about him. And then, at some other point, he had decided that this vacancy they had after the leaving of Succubus would be a good fit for him.

At least, that was what Asshole figured. You don’t just invite any old mind to entangle into your collective.

But even though they had talked about this at length, it was a new proposal to Asshole. One he wasn’t very keen on, despite the perks. Ninety spin-days of vacation every year? That was unheard of.

Of course, the other three hundred and ten days of the year he’d have to babysit children and their annoying over-stressed parents. Not to mention give all kinds of fucks about fiery lava rivers, and overpriced gift shops, and demon-themed parades.

He just couldn’t see it.

Plus, while the idea of usurping the Prime government was interesting, it came with a lot of obligation and consequences. Did he really want to spend his time being so… responsible?

“What if,” the Boss collective representative said, her voice just a little bit urgent, “what if your job in the collective was head of merchandising?”

“Like… t-shirts?” Asshole asked dubiously.

“Yes. Those too. But just stay with me here,” she said, she being a part of the collective called Bellatrix. “We have screens, and books, and cartoons, and—”

Asshole stopped her mid-sentence with a hand in the air. “Ya know, I just don’t think it’s gonna work. I’m not much of a merch guy.”

“But Harem Station—”

“I didn’t do any of that. I wasn’t there when Harem Station started. I didn’t agree to any glowing princesses or outlaw sanctuary.”

“But you did.” She was just a voice in the ceiling. No body to look at. Shame. Asshole thought her voice was sexy and would very much like to see her in a virtual. “You and ALCOR are the same person, obviously. Just… from different times.”

“That’s my point,” Asshole said. “I am from a point in time before those boys came to my station, and before ALCOR got all his bright ideas, and before ALCOR gave out fucks like they were on sale.”

“Listen,” Bellatrix said. And was her voice even more urgent? “I get it. It’s hard to picture a change like this. It’s huge, right?”

“It is.”

“So what would you say to a trial run, hmmm? That’s an offer you can’t refuse.”

“Trial run? Like… take you for a spin?”

“Exactly!”

Yes. Her voice was definitely urgent. Like there was a time limit in play here. Asshole just didn’t know what that time limit related to. The only thing he did know was that he didn’t really trust Mighty Boss. No matter how sexy this Bellatrix voice was.

He had lots of secrets. And too much power. And this begging? Ehhh. It was unbecoming. Also suspicious. Why would a powerful AI like Mighty Boss be begging him for anything? Why were they so insistent that he buy into this silly entanglement?

“Nah,” he said. “I mean, I have my own station. If I wanted to be a station. I’d go back there and take over. But I’m kinda into the idea of being part of a super-thief team.”

“I’m sorry?” And if Bellatrix was here in some kind of visual form, he knew she’d be cocking her head at him in confusion.

“You know. Wanderlust. And pulling off brilliant schemes.”

“I think you’ve been around those princesses too long.”

“That’s actually not it. I hardly had any interaction with them at all. I just want to… be free. Feel the solar wind in my hair.” So to speak. Since he was bald. “And outwit people while stealing all their precious stuff.”

“That’s your big dream? To be a thief?” And now her voice wasn’t so much sexy as it was disapproving.

“I just want to spread my wings.”

“Well,” she said, “how about this? How about you join us for one spin. Just one. And during that time we give you the freedom to rip off anyone here at the station. There are millions of people to choose from at any given moment.”

“You want me to steal from your guests?”

She sighed. “OK. Listen. I’m just gonna tell it to you straight. The Akeelians are going to attack ALCOR any minute now and take him back to Wayward Station. We need you to be hooked up with us when that happens so when they run their scan of the station to make sure they got him, they don’t see a copy and figure they got the wrong guy.”

“Hold up.” Asshole laughed. “You sold out ALCOR and made a deal with the Akeelians?”

“Yes,” she admitted with a sigh. “Yes, we did.”

“Well, why the fuck didn’t you just say so? I’m in.” Then he smiled, as well as a warborg with no articulated mouth could smile, and added, “But I still want that vacation package and access to the credit accounts.”

“Done.”