Page 153 of Creeping Beautiful

But no one was really gonna kill him.

“I’m sorry, man. But she was not going to come back from that. It was the only way I could—”

“Fuck you, Donovan.” We all turn to Indie. Her face is covered in tears. “Fuck you. You’re not in charge of what I get to know. You’re not allowed to erase me like that! You erased my daughter! You erased my boy next door!” She stands up and crosses the room to the window. Then she spins around. “Where the fuck is his house?” She looks at Adam. Then McKay. And then me. Because of course. I always knew she would blame me. I was the one in charge of her mind. “You erased his house?”

I look at McKay, willing him to take over. But he has his back turned to us, one hand pressed up against the wall near the door, leaning into it like he’s about to collapse.

“I think you need to leave, Donovan.”

“No. I’m not—”

“Leave! Donovan! Now!”

“Indie, listen to me—”

“Donovan. Get the fuck out.”

I turn to Adam, shaking my head. “No.”

“Just… Donovan. Don’t make this hard, dude. You need to go. Right now. We’ll figure this out and—”

“You need to go too, Adam.”

“What?”

Well… I didn’t see that coming.

“Both of you. Just… go. I need to be alone.”

McKay finally turns back around to face us. He’s scrubbing both his hands down his face. I wait for him to talk sense into her. To make her change her mind. To… fix this!

But he simply nods. “OK, Indie. We’ll go.”

“Not you, McKay. Jesus. You’re the only one who tells me the truth. You’re the only one I can trust. Just… them.”

McKay—who ten minutes ago I would have bet a million dollars would be gloating over this new development—shakes his head and frowns. “No.” He looks at me, then Adam. “We all go. Or we all stay. That’s how this works. You don’t get to pick and choose which of us is allowed to love you, Indie. We do things for you that maybe feel wrong. But we do them because they feel right to us in the moment. We’re just… doing our best. So if they go, then I go too. If you want to end this today, then that’s how this ends.”

There are many long moments of total silence. Then Indie sniffs loudly and drags the back of her hand across her face, wiping away the tears that are already dry.

Is she sad? I can’t tell.

Like… that is so fucked up. She is so fucked up.

And we did that to her.

“Fuck this.” Adam turns away and walks out, his boots stomping all the way down the stairs, the front door slamming behind him. A few moments later we hear his truck. Then the fading sound of tires on gravel as he leaves.

McKay huffs and shakes his head, then looks at Indie. “That’s great. That’s just goddamned great. You know we’re on your side. And if you don’t, Indie, then… you know what? Fuck you.”

Her face is stoic again. Just blank.

I stand up and turn to McKay. Shrug with my hands. “I gave her that tape because I wanted the truth to come out. So… there you go, dude. She’s all yours. I’ll be downstairs if you need me. Because I’m not walking out.”

I couldn’t even if I wanted to.

Because after all these years. After all that poking and prodding inside her mind. After all the desperate hope, and all the disappointing dead ends, and all the ways in which I failed her, and Adam, and McKay, and myself, and yeah, Carter too.

Just when I finally admit that he’s gone and move on—today, of all days, she gives me the gift of a clue.