Page 5 of Pretty Nightmare

“I know he does. But love is complicated, Indie Anna. McKay isn’t thinking about kissing Adam.”

“Well, he should be. Because those two were meant to be together.”

Donovan smiles now. “That I can agree with.”

“Then why are you so resistant to my plan?”

“Because it’s not a romantic kind of love, Indie. It’s something else. They’re meant to be together because they don’t actually know how to live apart.” He stops. Makes a face. “Well. I’m not even sure about that any more. Adam seems to have gotten along just fine without McKay. And while McKay didn’t light the fucking world on fire while Adam was missing, he did move on. He’s got his workshop now. And his little online store shit.”

“Hmm,” I hum. “That’s not good. They are meant to be together. We’re all meant to be together. So what’s wrong with giving this thing a little push? I’m telling you, McKay has no idea how to approach Adam and tell him these things. You can help him with that. Just get that first kiss over with. That way it won’t be awkward when we finally all get together. And that was the plan, right? We’re all waiting for McKay to come to some conclusion so we can have sex.”

Donovan scratches his neck and shoots me a strained look. “Was that what McKay was thinking when he put us all in timeout? Because that was not my impression, Indie. To me it felt like… he wanted you for himself. But he knows he can’t have you like that. So he needed time for you to figure out who you loved most.”

“Love most? I love you all. I’m not going to stop loving you, Donovan. Or Adam. Or McKay. This is my point. I want you all. And I don’t want to take turns. That’s not good enough. It’s all of us, or none of us.”

He just stares at me for a moment.

“I have earned this, Donovan.” My voice is soft now. “I have done everything you guys asked me to do and now it’s my turn for you all to do something I’m asking for. I deserve this. I deserve this family we’ve built. I deserve to be surrounded by love. I deserve happiness, Donovan. All I’m asking is that you help me make it happen. Please. We’re so close.”

“We’re not close. Carter is—”

“Forget him. He’s got nothing to do with our happiness. This is about us. That’s it. All I’m asking you to do is kiss him one time. Make him talk about it. Think about it. I swear to God, Core McKay is thinking about Adam. All the time. He’s looking for a way in, Donovan. Not a way out.”

Donovan sighs. “Fine. Whatever. But I don’t think it’s gonna work, Indie. He really might hit me. And he hits hard. He barely likes me. We both know I’m only here because of you. Neither of them would even look at me twice if it wasn’t for you.”

I scoff. Loudly. Then look him up and down with eyes that say he’s crazy. Donovan is a lot of things. He’s too smart, too sneaky, and too aloof. He was too skinny as a teenager and a little bit awkward. But he is not invisible. In fact, he is an unmissable-looking man. His dangerous good looks are dark and broody. And every time I look into his eyes, I see lust in there. I don’t know what he’s been up to all these years in his private life, but I’m absolutely certain that it involved a lot of dirty sex with people of both genders.

He didn’t object to kissing McKay because he was a man. He objected because he thinks he’ll be rejected. And that’s all I really need to know.

So I say, “If they’re not looking at you twice, then you’re just not trying. If McKay doesn’t kiss you back, it’s because you didn’t flip his switch and turn him on.” I reach between his legs and fondle his balls. He breathes out suddenly and his eyes droop a little. “Try a little harder to turn him on, Donovan.”

CHAPTER TWO - McKAY

When Adam’s father sat me down in his office many years ago and told me this crazy story about zeroes, and negatives, and dead twins, I was only half listening.

Not that fully listening would’ve helped me understand what the hell was happening. It wouldn’t. The things he said to me that day just made no sense and there was nothing I could do to change that.

But I was also distracted. I was thinking about what my own father told me before I was taken away. He said, “Core, there are two ways to go through life and both of them require strength and conviction. You can either listen, follow directions, and be invisible to everyone, including your enemies. Or you can buck, and go your own way, and make everyone see you. One is not better than the other. They both have their merits. And you can get where you’re going either way, if you’re strong enough. But you need to decide early which kind of man you will be. Because once people form an impression of you it rarely changes. So decide, son. Do you want to be invisible? Or do you want to be seen?”

By the time I had landed in Louisiana I had made my choice.

I would be invisible.

And so by the time I got into that office I was picturing ways to make it happen.

I wasn’t naïve enough to think my father literally meant invisible, but I was young. So I’m not gonna lie and say that idea never crossed my mind.

I do not hate Adam. Far from it. He is my best friend.

I would die for him, but not for the same reasons he would die for me.

I’m not going to walk away from him. I made my decision back when I was nine and I am nothing if not loyal.

But then Indie came along and everything… shifted.

It’s hard to explain. Nothing changed, not really. I was still on Team Adam. One hundred percent. You don’t bite the hand that feeds you, especially when the person attached to the hand is loyal, the way Adam is.

But buying up little girls… I don’t know. It’s not that much different than buying up little boys, I guess. But then again, everything about it feels different.