Page 64 of Reforming Lord Neil

Neil relaxed. Was that all? “Congratulations are in order, Mrs. Godwin. I am happy for you.”

The older woman smiled, her beauty still apparent despite her age. Perhaps, one day, Teresa would look like her. All handsome maturity and gentleness.

“Thank you, Mr. Duncan. He has asked several times, but I did not think Teresa could do without me. Now that her finances will be in order, she can afford more help, and the vicarage is not far. Mr. Carter and I will be most happy.”

“I wish I had known I stood between you all this time,” Teresa said quietly.

“It is not a child’s place to know the sacrifices a parent makes, my dear.” Mrs. Godwin stood and kissed Teresa’s forehead. Neil came to his feet, ready to excuse himself for the evening. But Mrs. Godwin stopped him with a gesture. “This change in our family will have an effect upon you, Mr. Duncan.” Despite knowing his title, Mrs. Godwin and Caroline continued to call him by the name he had first given them. “You and my daughter need to talk. Good night, both of you.”

Neil watched her go, then looked down at Teresa’s bowed head with curiosity. Slowly, he lowered himself back into his chair. “Teresa? Are you upset by your mother’s news?”

“No.” She laughed, but it was a tearful sound. When she raised her head he could see the shine in her eyes. “I am pleased for her. I truly am. She has given up so much for me, and for Caroline. She has lowered herself to work she had never done before in her life. Cooking, laundry, scrubbing floors. I could not have done all I have without her.” She took in a shuddering breath, then started searching her person.

Neil took a clean handkerchief, purchased in Ipswich, from his pocket and held it across the table to her.

“Thank you.” She accepted the cloth and dabbed at her eyes. “But it does change things. I intend to hire a cook, and a girl-of-all-work to help in the cottage. But they will be from nearby farms. They will not stay here overnight. Which means that you cannot stay. Not even in the barn.” Her liquid-silver eyes looked mournful.

“Teresa.” Neil chuckled and reached out for her. “I will take a room somewhere, then. I can pay a little for board.”

“You would be paying for a room,” Teresa said slowly, “in order to come and work at my farm without payment. That makes no sense at all.”

Although she was right, of course, Neil forced himself to sound perfectly at ease. He had not expected to leave her yet. It felt too soon. “It makes perfect sense to me, because that is what I want to do.”

She shook her head. “But Neil—”

“I promised I would help.”

“I can hire someone else—”

“Do you want me to leave?” Though he spoke quietly, Teresa winced. “If you want me to go, Teresa, then you have only to tell me so.” Neil ran his hands through his hair, lowering his gaze to the table. He had not meant to sound abrupt and peevish. Yet his frustration had goaded him.

Silence hung between them for a long moment. What must she think of him? Of course she wanted him to leave. She no longer needed him. No one had ever needed him, not really. It had been wonderful while it lasted, more so because of her.

“Teresa,” he said quietly, treasuring her name upon his lips. “I will leave. Though I must tell you, I would rather stay here. With you.” He looked up at last, though it had taken all his bravery to say that much. He, who had never struggled with a turn of phrase, to speak words that could cut or praise a person as he saw fit. What had happened to that eloquence?

When her gaze met his, steady and soft, he knew at once that he was lost.

“Your family will relent, Neil. Eventually, the marquess will relent.” Teresa fidgeted with the handkerchief, but kept her eyes upon his. The soft glow of the lamp made shadows dance around them, transforming the familiar kitchen into something different. Something special. “The son of a marquess cannot want a woman farmer.”

“I am not the marquess’s son. Not by blood, and I believe I can safely say he will never welcome me back. What woman would want a man as useless and poor as I am? It is you who outrank me, love.” The last word came out choked, almost entirely withheld. But her lips parted and a light came into her eyes.

She bit her lip and looked down at the table, a dozen emotions appearing and disappearing on her beautiful face. “Neil. I could never—. You must know. I do not think of you that way. You have given me so much. You are dearer to me than I can possibly say.”

His heart sped up. Perhaps she was only being kind. Yet there was nothing left to lose. Nothing for him, at least. He must speak, or leave in three weeks’ time.

Neil rose slowly, so as not to startle her, then came around the table to her side. He knelt upon the floor and gathered up her hands between his. “Teresa. My dear, my darling, my love. I want you, forever and always. Were I the son of a duke, or a fishmonger, or anything else, I would want you.” Her eyes brightened, though a tear slipped down her cheek. Neil could not help smiling through the tremble in his own words. “Though I am not worthy of your kindness and patience, I would beg you to be my wife. I can offer you nothing. Not a title, not a fortune. Only my heart. Please. Tell me it is enough.”

“Neil.” She shivered and shook her head. “Neil, I cannot—your family—”

“I do not care about the marquess.” Neil kissed her fingertips, his heart aching for her answer. “I care about you. I want you, and Caroline, to be my family. If you will have me. If I am enough.” He had never been enough. Not as a son, a brother, a friend. No one had wanted him. But his love for her gave him hope.

At last, she smiled. And laughed. The sound was like music to him, as beautiful as when she sang as she worked. “Enough? Neil, you are everything to me.”

“I love you.” He had never expected to speak those words aloud. Not to anyone. Love was for fools, for people too poor to know there were other ways of finding pleasure in life. Or so he had thought, before he found the richness in loving Teresa.

She put one hand upon his cheek. “I love you, Neil.”

He stood, bringing her to her feet only to sweep her off of them, holding her close as he kissed her. She loved him. He need never doubt anything again. Somehow, despite everything that made him unworthy of love, he had found the one woman who could see him as the man he wished to be.