Page 41 of The Gentleman Physician

“Which is why I brought Miss Devon to visit today. I wanted you to meet her, not only to enjoy her acquaintance, but if you should hear of a fitting position you might recommend her personally.” Nathaniel delivered those comments as if he meant them, though inwardly he regretted his decision. As much as he wanted Julia to succeed, to find happiness, he wanted her to be safe and cared for too.

“Oh, I am sure I will find something perfect for her. And you must let me, Miss Devon.” Lady Huntington took one of Julia’s gloved hands in her older, wrinkled grasp. She fixed the young woman with a serious stare. “You are a lovely girl, and I can see a great deal of intelligence and good breeding in you. Let me help. As I have told our good doctor, I enjoy taking on these sorts of projects.”

Julia returned the elderly woman’s sincere smile, her posture relaxing. “Thank you, my lady. I greatly appreciate your interest.” As Lady Huntington released Julia’s hand, they both turned to him, Julia with hopeful eyes and the dowager with a knowing glint in hers.

Nathaniel forced his smile. “Wonderful. With Lady Huntington’s assistance, you will have a position as soon as you should want it.”

“You may count on that.” Her ladyship’s chuckle, Nathaniel suspected, was tinged with more humor at him than any personal satisfaction she felt in his declaration. Her next comment caught him completely off guard.

“Doctor Hastings, I haven’t forgotten you. How does your search go to fulfill that position we were speaking of last?”

He tried to keep his face neutral, but Nathaniel had to look away to answer. A painting of a bowl of fruit, on the wall behind Lady Huntington, captured his interest. “I haven’t made any progress, I’m afraid. I have been too busy to give it much thought.”

Lady Huntington nodded, and he could hear the speculative note in her tone. “I see. Then I will redouble my efforts on your behalf.”

She changed the subject again immediately, but her meaning was not lost on Nathaniel. Lady Huntington would keep her word to Julia and find a place for her, and likely a very good one, but she wanted Nathaniel to consider offering her a different sort of position all together. There had been a time when Nathaniel dreamed of asking Julia to marry him, but with nearly five years passed, and their lives changing, would they even suit each other anymore?

Would she even want him? Though her circumstances had obviously changed, searching for employment instead of an advantageous marriage, had she changed enough to want to marry a man like him? He would never be wealthy, he could never hold a title, and his work as a physician came nearer trade than any other thing a gentleman might do and still call himself by that title.

Nathaniel didn’t know if he had enough to offer, if he was enough, to ask for Julia’s hand. He did not even think he dared ask to court her. He could not give her the life she knew, or even a cottage in the country, if he practiced in Bath as he intended.

When they finally took their leave of Lady Huntington, walking along the Royal Crescent back towards the baron’s townhouse, Julia tucked her arm through his. It was the proper thing to do, for him to escort her during the short walk to her home, but the feel of her gloved hand on his arm lifted his heart.

With Julia at his side, talking cheerily about their visit and her enjoyment of Lady Huntington’s company, he wanted to stand taller. He couldn’t help but smile as she spoke of her surprise that the woman she’d heard about was an outspoken, yet benevolent, soul. Indeed, every word from her filled him in a way he didn’t entirely understand, but he knew he was the better for it.

By the time they reached the baron’s home, Nathaniel could at last admit what he had denied ever since the first moment he saw her again in her cousin’s house.

He loved Julia and had never stopped in the first place. But what, if anything, can I do about it? He despaired of ever figuring out matters of the heart.

Chapter Fifteen

Julia stepped inside the townhouse and a maid hurried into view, taking her coat, hat, and gloves. “The post came while you were out, miss,” the young woman said. “There was something for you. Emily took it to your room.”

“Thank you.” Julia’s good cheer from visiting Lady Huntington, and Nathaniel’s company, improved still more under this bit of news. She made her way upstairs as swiftly as she could, while still maintaining a measure of ladylike poise. Since arriving in Bath, Julia had not been happier than she was at that moment.

Nathaniel wished to continue their friendship. He had treated her with affability and respect. She’d met the often talked of Lady Huntington, and she knew she found an ally in the woman if ever she needed one.

The letter waiting for her must be from one of her sisters. Who else would write her in Bath?

She shut the door to her bedroom upon entry and hurried to the desk beneath the window. The letter sat on top and she recognized Christine’s hand immediately. She lifted it and broke the seal hastily, moving to use the sunlight from the window to read.

To My Dear Julia,

I will not waste time on pleasantries, except to tell you I have never been as happy in my life as I am as Mrs. Thomas Gilbert. My joy is such that I wish all the world could find what I have, a true partner and friend, a love that is unconditional and complete.

I have never been the best with words, especially written.

Julia smirked to herself. Their governess always despaired of getting Christine to sit and write anything, whether it was a list of groceries or a thank you note. It almost surprised her to receive a reply from her sister with such speed.

But I had to reply the moment I received your letter. Julia, if N.H. is in Bath, if he is in your sphere of society, if you are able to speak to him at all, you must tell him how you feel. It is not vanity or pride that urges you to speak to him, but that you love him still. I am not ignorant of where your heart lies. When you spoke to me of N.H. you bore your heart and I knew your feelings for him remained unchanged. He must know. You must unburden yourself.

Be brave, Julia, as you taught me to be brave. If he does not return your feelings, at least you will know and then you can move forward with your life, without regret. Be truthful.

If he does return your feelings in any measure it would be worth the risk. I love you, and I want you to be happy.

Please, pass on my best wishes to our cousin, and extend to her an invitation to come visit as soon as she may. My heart aches for what she is going through and she should know she has a place to go where people will love and care for her. I think her boys would love the horses.

Julia sighed and shook her head, amused by that sentence. Christine thought everyone should love horses, whether they did or not.