Page 61 of An Engagement with the Enemy

“I will face this with fortitude,” she whispered to herself. “I will carry myself with dignity and grace.”

At the study door, she paused, taking a deep breath before entering. The room was all polished wood and leather furnishings, shelves lined with books. Her father sat in a wingback chair, her aunt in another across the rug from him. Her uncle, Lord Wyndham, stood solemnly by the fireplace. And Tom was there, too, leaning against her father’s desk with his arms crossed.

A family meeting of this sort hadn’t occurred before. Not in her memory. The seriousness of the moment weighhed upon her, but she lifted her chin and dropped her hand to her side as she curtsied. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long.”

“Not at all, Jessica. Here. Have my chair.” Her father stood and motioned for her to take the seat across from her aunt.

Sitting would be torture. So she smiled and shook her head, folding her hands in front of her. “I thank you, Papa, but I’d prefer to stand. I’ve been resting all day and it is good for me to be up, I think.”

He gave her a nod but didn’t retake the chair for himself. Instead he paced to the edge of the desk and stood next to Tom, giving her brother a reassuring smile. It left the chair open for Jessica, should she decide to take it after all.

“I thank you for agreeing to this conversation tonight,” her uncle said, his smile warm and somewhat sad. He went to stand behind his wife, his hand on the back of her chair. The countess looked up at him with a confident gleam in her eyes and nodded for him to continue. Whatever it was he had to say, he and his wife were at an accord on the matter.

Jessica’s stomach twisted, and she dug her fingers into the fabric of her gown to keep them still.

“Years ago, when Amelia died,” her uncle said, naming Jessica’s mother with a softness in his voice, “your aunt and I made a proposition to your father. We offered to take both of you in until he could find a new wife who could be a mother to you. It seemed practical. We had daughters of the same ages as you both. It wouldn’t tax the nursery, and we hoped it would give him room to grieve. But he informed us he had no intention to marry again. Instead, he asked for a permanent lease on this house to raise you both. And so he has.”

“And I am thankful for having this home all these years, and having you both with me,” their father said, his expression full of love for both of them. “I am proud of how you have grown, and I am grateful I have been here for every moment of it.”

Jessica had to bite the inside of her cheeks to keep silent. They sounded compassionate and warm, but the seriousness in the air made it difficult for her to breathe. What were they trying to tell her and Tom?

“Then, when it was time for you, Jessica, to enter Society, I offered to sponsor you,” her aunt, Lady Wyndham said with a lilt in her voice. “Your father told me of your difficulties then. I assured him we could work around them. But in the end, it was Lady Retford who said it would be best for you to receive your training at home. I deferred to her. I hope that you are not disappointed?”

Slowly, Jessica shook her head. Trying to come out in London, surrounded by her overly eager and tart-tongued cousins, would have been a nightmare. “No, your ladyship. I am not. Though I thank you for your consideration.”

“Of course, dear girl.” Her aunt’s smile changed, turning sad. “I wish you to know, should you ever wish it, I will happily present you into Society in whatever way you think best. You have a place there, if you want it.”

Jessica shook her head slightly but stopped when her uncle heaved a sigh, his gaze on Tom rather than on her.

“This conversation cannot really come as a surprise to either of you. I wanted to have it before, but your father said there wasn’t any need until you were older, Tom. Because he didn’t want you to rely on what I’m about to tell you. Given how well you are doing in your studies to become a barrister, I thought it time. And my brother finally agrees with me.” He gave Jessica’s father a rueful smile. “I will not have any more children,” he said with a finality that made Jessica’s heart feel heavy for him.

Her aunt looked down, but the earl put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her with tenderness in his eyes. “I am too old to be a father again. And I am content with my five daughters, who are beautiful and do their parents great credit.”

The countess smiled and covered the hand on her shoulder with her own. “Both of us are too old. We have come to terms with it, of course. But then I was so sick a few years ago, I thought it possible Lord Wyndham would find himself in need of a second wife.”

She didn’t have to say the rest. They all knew what she meant. If his current countess died, he could remarry a younger woman and perhaps father a son.

“And I told Lady Wyndham,” he said, eyes on his wife, “that I couldn’t possibly be happy with anyone other than her as my countess.” He cleared his throat and looked up. “I apologize for speaking of such intimate things so plainly, but I felt it important for you to know, Tom, that there will be no other heir for the title I hold but your father, and then you.”

The air stilled as Jessica looked at her brother. Of course, she should have known. Should have suspected such a thing. But they never spoke of it. Never spoke of the fact that their father was next in line for the title, without his brother having had any sons, and that made Tom’s place in the succession assured. But her father had never addressed the possibility with them. And no one had dared bring it up to Jessica or Tom, either.

For his part, Tom didn’t appear shocked. His expression gave little away, but Jessica knew him quite well. Well enough to see the way his hand clenched at his side, the slight downturn of his mouth, and the way his eyes darkened. He wasn’t surprised. He was grim but determined. He gave a slow nod of understanding to their uncle.

“Given how close we are in age,” her father continued, “and in health, at present, I doubt I would hold the title for long after my brother has given it up.” He looked at the earl in a way that only brothers would look at one another, with understanding born of long acquaintance. “I grew up in an earl’s household, and I know what to expect should my time in that position come. But you do not, Tom. And that is why we are all here this evening.”

“You have a choice, nephew,” their uncle continued. “And Jessica, too, really.” He gave her the briefest glance with a sparkle of interest in his eyes, gray like hers and her father’s. “Tom, you can continue on in your training to become a barrister, with the knowledge that I hope for another decade or two of good health. Or, you can resign from your apprenticeship with the law and begin one with me. Think of it as an apprenticeship for earldom.” He smiled to himself.

“Uncle,” Tom said, voice low and rough. “This isn’t—I didn’t expect for such an opportunity. I’m not certain—”

“Then do not answer me yet,” their uncle said, raising his hand to stave off whatever else her brother could say. “Think on it. If I could have your answer before the next session of Parliament begins, I would be appreciative. If you choose to learn from me, know that it means you would come to our home in London and in the country, as often as possible. You would take your place as my heir in every way that matters. Learning about our holdings, our tenancies, our duties, finances, everything. Your education would include meeting political allies, expanding your acquaintances with other important men. You would have a place in my home and an appropriate allowance, as well as accounts with every merchant a man of your age would have need to give custom.”

Jessica put a hand over her heart and looked at her brother in awe. She’d been so busy concentrating on her own situation, she’d almost forgotten a world existed in which her choices weren’t the only things to face. Her brother’s gaze met hers, and that determination wavered a moment. She glimpsed his uncertainty. Perhaps his fear.

“Jessica is invited to be part of this, too,” her aunt said, bringing Jessica’s attention back to her. “As I said before, you are always welcome. More so, as your rank will eventually match my daughters’, we wanted you to know that we have increased your dowry to match theirs. This ensures you can have your choice of husband. Your father told us this morning you’ve expressed an interest in remaining unmarried, an independent woman. I have a sister who did the same, and she is quite content. You have the means to do that, instead, if you do not wish to marry.”

The forced courtships would end. Jessica needn’t see another gentleman, or pretend an interest where she felt none, ever again. She listlessly went to the empty chair and lowered herself onto its cushion.

She didn’t have to worry about marrying someone who would put her aside, hiding her like a damaged painting, unworthy of a place of pride in heart and home. No one need ever be disappointed in her struggles with crowds, her struggles. Unless…unless a man loved her enough to overlook such things.