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“The priest gets drunk off communion wine. Why can’t I drink Grey Goose?”
I gazed at Angelo who had a strange look on his face. It was a cross between a scowl and a smile. He was amused but not. Angelo had no idea how to handle me. Ever since the night of the accident, he tried to do everything in his power to console me. There was nothing he could say or do to take away the pain. His family was the reason my mother was dead, though I wasn’t sure how much of a hand they’d played in her death.
Part of me hated Angelo for that. Paulie threatened my father to invite the Morellis to the charity event, and then my mother was killed. Something about that didn’t sit well with me. I had no idea who I could trust or how I should feel.
I shook my dad off and sat on the bottom step in front of the altar. The white marble was freezing cold and sent a chill down my legs. I raised the microphone to my mouth and glanced over at my dad who was sitting down next to my grandmother.
“Sorry, Nona,” I said, meaning it, and she flashed a closed mouth smile at me in response. “Sorry to whoever took offense to anything I’ve said since I got up here. This is hard, you know.” I set the bottle on the ground next to me and propped myself up by digging my elbows into my thighs. I clasped the microphone tightly in my hands and looked out at the massive crowd.
“One of the last things my mom ever said to me was that she was proud of me. She never told me that. We never talked as much as either of us would have liked. She didn’t approve of who I’m dating, or at least I never thought she did. She helped me get ready for the fundraiser. It was the first time we’d had a real conversation in years. She told me we were more alike than I’d realized, and that my dad was like my Angelo when he was younger. I laughed and said no way.”
I shifted the microphone to my other hand since the right one was going numb. “There’s a point to this story, I promise. I asked her if she approved of me marrying Angelo. We’re not engaged or anything in case you’re wondering. But c’mon, Angelo already asked me when I was five, so you know, it’s kind of a done deal.”
The people in the crowd laughed for real this time, and not because I was making an ass of myself. I looked at Angelo, and he winked.
“The reason I’m mentioning this story is because of my mom’s response. She never said things like this to me. My mom was private and closed off, not just with me but also with everyone she knew. For her to say something I’ll remember for the rest of my life on the night of her death is important. I believe we had this conversation for a reason.”
The room was spinning around me. Despite the waves of sickness which washed over me, I pushed through it because I had to finish my speech.
“Here’s what she said to me. ‘I think you should marry someone you can’t live without, someone who makes you so happy.’ Anyone who knew my mom also knew she never said sentimental things like that. But she did on that night. Anyway, so I told her I have that with Angelo.” I looked at him and continued, “No one makes me feel the way he does. When we’re together, it’s as if I’m the only person alive. I am strong when I’m with him. He gives me so much more than his love.
Other than Dad, Angelo’s the best man I know.”
“What did your mom say?” Angelo asked, egging me on.
Oh, right. I’d almost forgotten to tell them the rest of the story.
“She smiled and said, ‘Then, yes, I think you should marry him.’ It was the best piece of advice she ever gave me. For once, she acted like my parent. My dad did everything with me… my homework, drove me to field hockey practice, took me to school, taught me how to ride a bike, drive a car…” I paused then continued, “Oh… wait, no… that was Angelo. I think he stole that car.” I laughed to myself and tried to push myself up to my feet. Then, I looked at Angelo. “Did you steal the Mustang? I can’t remember. It’s a giant blur now.”
His eyes and mouth said ‘yes’ but he shook his head ‘no.’ I held out my hand in his direction. “Help me up, Lo.”
Angelo got up from the pew and pulled me up from the floor and into his arms. “You’re embarrassing your dad, G. And telling people about illegal shit I did.” He spoke the words against the shell of my ear, his voice so low I had to strain to hear him.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Are you going to handcuff me to your bed and spank me for it later? Maybe you should stop doing illegal shit for me to talk about.”
I hadn’t realized it until Angelo took the microphone from my hand, I’d said the last part so everyone could hear.
Shit.
I leaned down to speak into the microphone and said, “And that concludes the comedic portion of this funeral. Goodnight everyone.”
Some people laughed. It was the only thing I could think of to say which could help make me look less idiotic. Nothing would help me. I was a fucking mess. I picked up my heels from the floor. Without looking at anyone—Angelo included—I power walked across the left side of the church and ran out the door.
Chapter Fifteen
Angelo
Gia was a complete disaster throughout the entire funeral service. She implicated me in an illegal activity which, if connected back to me, could be used in a federal case against my family. I was sure there was an FBI agent lurking somewhere in the crowd. They were always present, always following us around. In all the years we were together, Gia had never done something so reckless, so stupid. She knew the law better than anyone. We studied it together in school. She was falling apart, and I had no idea how to help her.
I still had the microphone in my hand when I glanced down at my dad.
“Fix this,” he growled under his breath.
“Sorry,” I said into the microphone and stared out into the expanse of the church. “Gianna’s not herself right now. Please excuse her for everything she’s just said. She’s hurting. This is a hard time for her.”
Some of the people in the crowd either smiled or nodded. They understood she was losing her mind. It was abundantly clear from the show she’d put on for everyone at the funeral mass. I jogged up the few steps to the pulpit, placed the microphone back in the holder, and followed after Gia.
I found my beautiful mess on the grass out front of the church, with her dark curls fanned out around her head and her short, black dress riding up her thighs. She looked like a dark angel, all made up with bright red lips that parted for me when she looked up at me.
