Page 170 of Romeo

The three dots appeared almost immediately. That realization made sending it by text instead of calling feel like the coward’s way out, but I couldn’t stand the idea of hearing the disappointment in her voice when I was already pissed enough about causing it.

Ma Belle: Okay.

I stared at the single word. Fiona could say a hell of a lot with one word when she wanted to.

Me: Don’t do that.

Ma Belle: Do what?

Me: Give me one word when you have twenty sitting behind it.

The pause was longer this time.

Ma Belle: You have things to take care of. I understand.

I closed my eyes.

Of course she understood. Fiona had spent most of her life learning how to accept disappointment without asking anyone to rearrange their world for her. That didn’t mean I wanted to become one more person she practiced on.

Me: Understanding doesn’t mean you aren’t disappointed.

Another pause followed.

Ma Belle: I just thought I’d see you.

There it was. No accusation. No guilt. She’d simply wanted me there.

Me: I thought I’d be there by now.

Ma Belle: But you aren’t.

Me: No.

Ma Belle: That’s disappointing.

I rubbed a hand over my chest.

At least she wasn’t pretending anymore. I’d rather know I’d hurt her than have Fiona tuck it away somewhere because she thought protecting me from her feelings mattered more than letting me see them.

Me: I know. I’ll make it up to you.

Ma Belle: You always do.

Me: You’re letting me off too easy.

Ma Belle: You’re not as hard to forgive as you think.

I stared at the screen for a moment. She could forgive me and still be disappointed. The two weren’t mutually exclusive, and I wasn’t going to use the first to ignore the second.

Me: There’s plenty to say. You’re just trying not to make this harder for me.

Ma Belle: Would it change anything if I did?

Me: No. But I’d know you wanted me there.

Ma Belle: You already know that.

Me: I need to hear it anyway.