Page 48 of Head Under Water

I turn too, the moment stretching and expanding as my eyes lift. My chin tips up. His breathing hitches, turning shaky.

His nose brushes mine. Too close.

Slowly, his free hand moves a strand of my hair. His fingers skate over my neck like he’s forgotten where we are. His hand moves to tilt my chin up just a notch more.

If either of us speaks, our lips will touch.

He’s watching me, daring me to stop him, and I should. My fingers pulse against his chest, and lazily, his eyes start to close.

Without warning, Will drops his arm off me, releasing my chin and pulling away. I shudder.

What the⁠—

We just stare at each other for several beats.

My voice trembles from my pounding heart when I finally speak. “You don’t…have to touch me every time someone says we’re friends, you know. It’s not a reflex test.”

“Noted.” His jaw tightens, and he turns away. He’s already back to work.

Silence stretches. I’m the one watching him this time.

“You’re good at that,” I say, picking up my pencil at last.

He glances at me from the corner of his eye. “At what?”

“Pretending.”

The word hangs between us.

His eyes darken a shade. “Isn’t that what we’re both doing?”

Someone pulls out a seat at our table, tearing through our heavy fog, and when I look up, it’s Banks. The timing feels almost laughably cruel.

“Hey, you,” he says, reaching for my hand. His thumb skates over my knuckle in a way that feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world, though it’s entirely new. I wait for the lightning, but it never comes. Will is watching me too closely not to notice. He rests his mouth on his fist.

I put all my focus into Banks. “Hey.”

“Excited about tonight?”

I don’t dare look at Will, but I can feel his attention shift. Sharpen.

“Very.” The word slams onto the table, a choice made.

Will draws in a sharp breath next to me. He adjusts the papers in front of him again, edging away just a hair, but enough that I feel it.

“Cool. Well, I was just on my way to a meeting. I’ll pick you up at six, okay?” Banks stands, and when I look up to say goodbye, he presses a kiss to my lips. His hands remain at his sides, though mine instinctively reach for him. When he pulls back, they land on the table without ever making contact. He doesn’t look away from me as he says, “Nice to see you again, Will.”

Will gives Banks a polite nod. A small, distant smile. “You too.” His eyes are sort of lost. Unfocused.

Banks pushes the chair in, and with another brush of my hand, he disappears around one of the bookshelves.

Will doesn’t say a word, just returns his focus to his notes.

His pencil moves steadily, no hesitation.

For nearly an hour, we work in silence.

Then, voice so low I almost don’t hear him, he says, “Six, huh?” He still doesn’t look up. He might not even be talking to me.