Page 14 of John’s Yearning

“I don’t actually need a ride. I just said it to piss Drake off and walk out with you.”

John chuckled. “So you didn’t like him much, huh?”

She tossed him a get-real look. “The guy is a pompous ass with a mail-order degree from a third-grade university. I’m just surprised you stuck it out as long as you did.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I felt it was my duty as your maker to—”

“Yeah, let’s get over that shit. I really don’t give a damn if you feel guilty or whatever.” She shrugged. “All I want to know is if you meant what you said earlier, you know, that you’re willing to help me.”

“I stand by my word.”

“Good.”

They stopped next to John’s Mercedes. “Then tell me how I can help you.”

“I want to be part of Scanguards.”

“In what capacity?”

She laughed. “I’m not interested in being a grunt. As a Stealth Guardian I was a warrior for several centuries, before I became a member of the Council of Nine. I paid my dues. I’m not going to pay them a second time.”

“I’m afraid the top management positions are taken.” Besides, his rank at Scanguards wasn’t high enough to recommend anybody for a management position. Those were given out by merit, and by merit alone.

“You think I’m talking about being in management?” She shook her head vehemently. “How boring! Don’t you get it? I want to feel adrenaline charge through my veins again. I want to fight.”

He froze. “Fight?”

“Yes, I want you to get me a position at Scanguards that deals with the worst criminals, the most dangerous situations.”

“You’re crazy.”

“No, not crazy. But I need a challenge. I need to prove that I can still do it.” She pounded her fist against her chest. “That what’s in here hasn’t changed just because my body has changed.”

“Is this about the actions that caused the Stealth Guardians to exile you? Because if it is, then I’m gonna tell you right now, you paid for that with your life. You paid for that on the battlefield when you took a dagger for Virginia.”

Virginia, a Stealth Guardian, who was now the wife of Scanguards’ resident witch, Wesley, had nearly lost her life in a battle with demons, had Deirdre not thrown herself into the path of the dagger meant for Virginia. Mortally wounded, Deirdre would have died, but Virginia had begged John to save her life by turning her into a vampire. Deirdre hadn’t had a choice in the matter, and John kept wondering whether he’d done the right thing, or whether it would have been more merciful letting Deirdre die on the battlefield. It would have been an honorable death in her eyes.

“You’ve redeemed yourself,” he added.

Deirdre shook her head. “Maybe in your eyes, maybe even in my brother’s eyes. My standards are higher.”

“Don’t you appreciate that you’ve been given a second chance? Why risk this new life you’ve been given?”

“That’s funny, coming from you.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t you do the same every day? Risk your life because you think you’ve got nothing worth living for anymore? You of all people should understand where I’m coming from.”

He’d never talked about his own heartbreak. There was no way Deirdre could know. “You don’t know anything.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t know what exactly it is that makes you think you’ve got nothing to live for, but every time I see you I can sense it. It’s all around you. So don’t deny me what you do every day. I need this.”

John took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the cool night air, and sighed. “Very well, if that’s what you want.”

“I do.”

“I’ll talk to Samson.”