Page 22 of John’s Yearning

There was compassion in his words, even though he stuck to his refusal. She’d seen that compassion before, when he’d first asked her about Buffy. Just like she’d seen something else that night. Something she would exploit now. For Buffy.

“If it’s not money you want, then something else.” She gripped his hand. “Anything you want.” She locked eyes with him and moved closer, bringing her body to within inches of his much bigger one. “I’ll give you anything if you help me. Anything.”

There was a flicker in his eyes, almost like a flame igniting. She hadn’t misjudged him the night before. Hadn’t misjudged the stolen looks he’d cast her way. The looks of a man who wanted something. Wanted her—or at least her body.

Yet, he didn’t react now. He stood as if frozen in place, his eyes the only part of him that seemed to be alive. But she wouldn’t give up, not when she’d just discovered his weak point.

“I’ll sleep with you as often as you want, however you want it. You can demand anything from me, no matter what it is, I’ll do it. I’ll fulfill all your fantasies without protest.” She took his hand and guided it to her breast, making him cup one globe. His eyes seemed to shimmer, while his lips parted. “I saw how you looked at me last night. Undress me if you want to. Touch me. I know you want to.” She grabbed his other hand and laid it on her other breast. Beneath his palms, though they were motionless, she could feel herself react. Her nipples were hardening, though she didn’t understand why. This wasn’t about her pleasure. This was about a deal she would make with him. Her body in exchange for his help.

“Ms. Rice,” he ground out, his lips barely moving. “Don’t—”

“Savannah,” she coached and laid her hands over his, squeezing, so he was forced to squeeze her boobs. “Please, you can have all this. You can have me. Doing whatever you command. I’ll make sure you’ll enjoy it. I promise. You can fuck me now.” She lowered her hand to his crotch. Hardness greeted her there. He wasn’t as unaffected as his rigid stance suggested. “Or I can suck you. Would you rather have me do that? Do you want me on my knees, your cock in my mouth?” She didn’t care what she had to do to make him help her. She had no pride left. Her only thought was her daughter.

His hands on her breasts were suddenly gone. Before she could say or do anything else, John’s hands were framing her face, and his mouth was crushing her lips with a kiss that she hadn’t expected. A kiss that could only be described as untamed. And to her surprise, not unwanted. By either party. She felt his need, a desire that she’d seen in his eyes and that he was now unleashing. And despite the reason why she was trying to seduce him, her body reacted to him. Reacted as if he was a man whom she desired.

He tasted of power and strength, and she’d forgotten what a man like that tasted. His mouth was punishing, his tongue demanding surrender. She didn’t resist, couldn’t have, even if she wanted to. She responded to his kiss, sliding one hand to his nape, the other to his waist so he couldn’t escape, couldn’t change his mind now that he’d accepted the deal she was offering. She pressed her body to his, and heard him groan in response. But he didn’t free himself, instead, he pushed her back toward the wall, crushing her between it and his equally hard body.

She moaned, unable to hold in the unexpected pleasure this kiss ignited in her.

John seemed to become even more passionate as a result of her reaction, one hand now sliding down to her ass, palming it as if he had every right to do so. And he did. She’d given him that right by offering him carte blanche. By offering him her body to do with as he pleased. Though she hadn’t thought it would please her as much as it did.

All of a sudden, she felt cool air on her lips and realized he’d severed not only the kiss, but their embrace too. He stood a couple of feet away from her now. She must have been so dazed from his kiss that she hadn’t seen or felt him move.

He breathed heavily and stared at her, his eyes picking up the light from a lamp near the couch, which made them shimmer golden. There was something beautiful yet dangerous lurking in those eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out as if he could barely speak, his jaw tight as if he couldn’t open his mouth. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

She suddenly felt naked, exposed. “John…” She didn’t know what to say now, what to do, so she did nothing.

“This is wrong. I can’t do this.”

Her heart sank. He didn’t want her. Which meant he wasn’t taking her deal. He wasn’t going to help her. She slammed a hand over her mouth to stop herself from sobbing. She’d humiliated herself, and for what? For nothing. She lowered her head, couldn’t bear for him to see the despair in her eyes.

Why didn’t he leave? Why wasn’t he at the door already, hightailing it out of her flat? Was he enjoying her humiliation, her defeat?

“I can’t take what you’re offering. I’m not that kind of man. I’d never sink that low.”

“Sink that low…” she repeated. “Yeah, you’re right.”

She suddenly felt his hands grip her biceps and snapped her gaze to him.

“You misunderstand me. I would never take advantage of a woman who’s vulnerable. What I just did was a mistake, and I apologize for it. But I’m just a man, and there are moments when even I can’t fight against my needs. When even I slip. It’s not your fault. You did what you thought you had to do. It’s my fault entirely. I should have resisted.”

His fault? When she was offering herself to him? Begging him to take her? How could it be his fault?

“John, I—”

“No, please, I need to make amends.” He swallowed hard. “I’ll help you find Buffy. I’ll do anything in my power, use all my skills, my connections, my resources, whatever it takes, to bring your daughter home.” He let go of her arms and took a step back. “But I’m not going to take any form of payment from you. Not your money, and not your body. You should never have to sell your body to anybody. No matter the reason.”

Her lips parted and a surprised puff of air escaped from her lungs. Had she heard correctly? “You’ll help me? You’ll take the case?”

He nodded.

“And you don’t want…” She hesitated and searched his face.

Their gazes connected.

“I would never want what’s not freely offered. You might think now that you won’t mind sleeping with me, but you’ll resent me for it later. Trust me on that. It’s best if we never mention this again.”