Page 4 of Hawk on the Hunt

Zara crossed the street with Dylan walking next to her, silence spreading between them. Her heart raced. Too many things went through her head. When the other man had left the table, she’d watched Dylan burn a piece of paper, which she’d found strange to say the least. Neither of the two men had smoked, she was certain of that, so she certainly couldn’t have mistaken it for cigarette smoke. And when she’d approached and gotten a look at the table, she’d seen the charred remains of the small piece of paper. Odd.

After his initial surprise, Dylan had quickly become calm and collected. It annoyed her even more, because she was anything but calm and collected. She was furious, and she wished she could yell at him right now, and pound her fists against his chest to make him understand how he’d hurt her. Instead, she’d agreed that they could talk in private, and idiot that she was, she’d invited him to her apartment.

How stupid! As if she wanted to be alone with him!

But she couldn’t back down now. It would make her look weak. And she needed to look strong for this fight, even if she didn’t feel strong. Just walking next to him, her old feelings for him bubbled to the surface. He’d always been able to make her knees weak just by looking at her. And even now, she had to stop herself from walking closer to him, because if she brushed up against him, her self-control would shatter.

Yeah, she had it bad. But she was determined not to let his charm steamroll her this time. All she wanted was to find out why he’d left her. And once she knew, she would be able to move on and live her life without thinking of him, without comparing every man to him, with none of them measuring up.

As soon as he’d answered her question to her satisfaction, she would show him the door. And that would be the end of it. And nothing would change that.

By the time they entered her third-floor walk-up, she was mentally prepared for anything. Dylan closed the door behind them, and walked into the small one bedroom apartment that cost half a month’s salary. She noticed him glance around, but she was all out of patience.

Zara placed her take-out food on the coffee table, and tossed her handbag and her jacket onto an armchair.

“We’re alone. Now talk!” She folded her arms across her chest, steeling herself for the truth. Had he left her for another woman? She didn’t know what would be worse, Dylan having gotten cold feet because they were planning to move in together, or him falling in love with another woman.

Dylan cleared his throat. “I told you back then that I worked for a lobbying firm. That was a lie.” He looked at her as if he wanted to check her reaction first.

“Why would you lie about your job?”

“Because I had to. I was recruited by the CIA over twelve years ago.”

The news stunned her. “You’re a CIA agent?” She shook her head, only half believing his claim. Anybody could say they were a CIA agent. After all, it wasn’t something she could verify independently.

“I was.”

“Let’s say I believe that you were working for the CIA, that still doesn’t explain why you left without an explanation.” She brushed her hair back from her face. “Besides, if you were recruited twelve years ago, it means you were an agent when we were together, so don’t tell me you left me because of your job.”

Dylan reached out to touch her arm, making her realize that she’d started gesticulating like she always did when she was agitated.

“Please, Zara, hear me out,” Dylan said in a soft tone, while he squeezed her arm gently to emphasize his demand.

He’d always been able to do this, to soothe her when she was upset, and now he was using the same skill to pacify her, but she couldn’t allow it. She pulled her arm back so he had to release his hold.

“Then explain to me what happened. And don’t tell me a CIA agent isn’t allowed to have a girlfriend or a family.”

“You’re right. A CIA agent can have a family, many do, and I never thought it would be a problem. I worked out of Langley, not in some far away country. That’s why I was able to be with you. To live a normal life.” He sighed, hesitating. “But four years ago, the program I was in was compromised. Our leader was murdered, and the rest of us, we were in danger too…”

She furrowed her forehead. Dylan’s statement sounded farfetched. But was it true? “What kind of danger?”

He dropped his eyes a little, his expression somber. “Somebody wants to wipe us out. Every single agent in the program. We had to go to ground from one moment to the next. When I got the word of what had happened, I barely had enough time to destroy all my personal records that might help my enemies find me.” He lifted his eyes to look straight into hers. “And to send you a text before I had to destroy the SIM card on my cell.”

She shook her head slowly. She didn’t want to believe it. “You could have told me where you went so I could see you, talk to you.”

“No. At first, I didn’t even know where I was going, and then, had I told you, my enemies could have found out from you where I was.”

The assumption that she would have told his enemies about his whereabouts hurt. “I would have never told anybody! I loved you!” Tears started welling up in her eyes, but she forced them down.

“I know you would have never voluntarily given up my location. But these people have methods that can make anybody talk.”

“Who are they?”

“I don’t know.”

“Excuse me?” She narrowed her eyes. Was he making this shit up as he went along? “You couldn’t come up with a better story? Goddamn it, Dylan! I always thought you were a good man, but right now, I have serious doubts that what I saw in you back then was ever there.”

Dylan reached for her arm again and took a step closer. “I’m still that man, Zara. But I had no choice. I had to run, or I’d be dead now.”