Page 33 of Hard Corps (Selected Sinners MC 7)

He remained silent.

“Speak.”

“Yes, I understand,” he responded.

“Did you ever file a police report on your loss of teeth or finger?” I asked.

“Speak,” I said after a few seconds of silence.

He shook his head. “No.”

“Until this particular case, did you or have you ever discussed with authorities your loss of teeth or the finger?” I asked as I ran my finger down the edge of the knife.

“Speak.”

“No, not until now.”

I nodded my head as I studied the blade of the knife. “Alright. You will testify tomorrow. I will make clear what you will say. Phrase it how you prefer, but you will say this; you will state, when asked, that your association with Mr. Ripton is through your former girlfriend. You will further state that you chose to concoct an utter lie regarding the loss of your finger to attempt to get back at her, because she is friends with him. That, in effect, is all you will say.”

He stood and stared as if confused.

“Is that understood?” I asked as I rotated my wrist and twisted the blade of the knife back and forth.

He nodded his head.

“I need to hear it. Speak,” I sighed.

“Yes. Understood.”

The more I looked at him the more I wanted the world to be rid of him. My problem with eliminating him prematurely, as much as I wanted to, was that I historically gave everyone a chance to correct a mistake, my ex-wife included.

It was a weakness of mine.

I glared at him and continued. “You see. I find the entire process disappointing. You being smacked with a hammer and having a finger cut off has nothing to do with this case. Not one damned thing. One has nothing to do with the other. But, if the jury hears what you have to say, they’ll assume Ripp is a violent man and they’ll certainly side with the state. They’ll find him guilty. If you don’t testify, they may find him innocent. In all honesty, they should give him a good Samaritan medal for doing what he’s done. It irritates me to have to be here. People like you disgust me. You need to understand that.”

He nodded his head. At least he was willing to entertain me.

“Now. I will close with this. I like killing people. I really do. It’s the only fucking way I can make that God forsaken war make sense in my head. If I stop killing people, it means all the killing I did for years over there was wrong. And, killing people that wreak havoc on others must be God’s will for me, because the government paid me for over a decade to do it. I like to think it was justified, killing all of those people.” I paused and considered what I was saying. It seemed as I was speaking, I was not only convincing him of how I felt, but convincing myself.

I was raised to understand killing was wrong. After all, it was one of the Ten Commandments.

The Marines, at a time of war, took every adult male that was willing and capable and taught them how to kill. They didn’t teach Marines how to obtain a home loan or balance a checkbook. Upon my returning to the states, they didn’t encourage me to make any changes to my mental process regarding killing. They merely expected me to flip a switch and become human again. A lesson or class in how to un-do what they had spent so much time doing was necessary.

“You know, the only way I can convince myself it was justified, all of the killing, that is, is to continue killing people that take from society. You’re a taker. And I administer justice by attempting to balance the scales. I do, however, believe people can change. I hope you’re one of them. I’m assuming Ripp’s previous visit left a little doubt in your mind. I want to remove that doubt. I want clarity,” I said with a nod of my head.

I was convinced my speech was not only informative to him, but cleansing to me.

“Are we clear?” I asked as I looked up from the blade of the knife.

As he stood and silently stared, I felt as if I was playing Simon Says on the schoolyard as a child. “Jesus fucking Christ. Speak.”

“Yes, Sir. I understand.”

“Now, I will not be in court tomorrow. Would you like to know where I’ll be?” I asked as I picked up the pistol.

He shook his head.

“Humor me. Say you want to know,” I said with a laugh.