Page 36 of Finding Parker

“No one responded.”

“Frustrated, the reverend pressed his hands into his hips. Alright, if no one has the courage to speak up, I want the man sitting next to the man who called my piccolo player a motherfucker to stand up, the reverend said.”

“And, no one stood up.”

“Alright, the reverend said, I want the man who’s sitting next to the man who sat next to the man who called my piccolo player a motherfucker to stand up.”

“And again, no one stood up.”

“Aggravated to no end, the reverend stepped to the front of the pews and looked over the congregation, I want the man who’s sitting next to the man who’s sitting next to the man who sat by the man who called my piccolo player a motherfucker to stand up. He stood, furious with anger and waited. The church sat silent.”

“After a few long seconds of silence, a man seated in the rear of the pews quietly stood.

“Reveren’, he said.”

“I ain’t the man who was sittin’ next to the man who called the piccolo player a motherfucker. I ain’t that man, reveren’. And I ain’t the man sittin’ next to the man who sat next to the man who called the piccolo player a motherfucker. And I ain’t the man who called the piccolo player a motherfucker, either. Reveren’, I ain’t none a those things. But reveren’ what I got to know is this,” Kenton paused, raised his eyebrows, and inhaled.

“Who called that motherfucker a piccolo player?”

Kenton laughed so deeply upon telling the punchline he fought to catch his breath. Almost immediately his laughing became so hard his eyes were watering. As he continued to cough and slap his knee with one hand, he raised his free hand to wipe the tears from his face. Having never seen him act like this, I began to laugh as well. I turned to face Victoria, who began laughing.

“I want the man sittin’ next to the man who was sittin’ next to the man…” Victoria laughed.

“Oh hell. I’m sorry, Parker. I had to tell it. I’ve always loved that joke,” Kenton wiped his eyes and sat down in his chair.

“I enjoyed it,” I chuckled.

As we all sat attempted to catch our breath, Downes stepped into the edge of the room from the kitchen hallway.

“Mr. Ward?” he motioned into the corridor as he spoke.

“Excuse me,” Kenton said as he stood from his chair.

Slowly, he walked into the hallway with Downes.

“That Downes makes me nervous. He’s big and scary. Is he Kenton’s bodyguard or something?” Victoria asked in a shallow whisper.

“Actually, he’s quite nice once you get to know him. Really. And no, he’s just Kenton’s friend. He’s like an assistant. Maybe he’s kind of like a filter between Kenton and the normal day-to-day bullshit someone like him is exposed to. He pays the bills, and greets guests. I don’t know. But he’s actually nice,” I said softly.

Almost immediately, Kenton walked into the room and sat down into his chair. With a tone of disappointment in his voice, he sat on the outer edge of the cushion and spoke.

“Well, I’m sorry to say this, but Karen has fallen rather ill. She won’t be cooking dinner for us like I had hoped. I actually didn’t realize so much time had passed. We’ve been sitting here talking for almost four hours. Maybe we can all get in my SUV and go get something to eat,” he sighed.

“Or I could drive,” I said.

“What was she going to prepare?” Victoria asked softly as she stood from the loveseat we were seated on.

“Excuse me?” Kenton asked.

“What was she going to cook? What does she have available?” she asked.

“Oh, I’m not sure she got that far along, why?” Kenton responded.

“What’s wrong, Victoria?” I asked as I stood.

“Oh, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering. I could cook for us. I mean, if you’d let me, sir,” Victoria said.

“Let you?” Kenton chuckled.