Page 39 of Rigid

“Well, your little fantasy world got fucked up when you were riding my cock in the kitchen, and I don’t know what to tell you. All I know for sure is this: I watched Eddie cry herself to sleep at night on and off from the time she was five until she was eleven. I wouldn’t wish that pain on any child. So, maybe we do all the shit you’re talking about, we just do it out of order. But they’re still the same fucking steps.”

I stood and stared at him blankly. I was speechless. I collapsed onto the couch. My chest tightened, and all but suffocated me. I lowered my head into my hands and began to cry. I had no idea what I wanted, and I was an emotional wreck. While I sat there and wept, I felt the couch give as he took a seat beside me.

His arm slid across my shoulders.

Then, pulled me into him. “Don’t cry,” he whispered.

I rested my head on his shoulder, uncertain of why I was so emotional. As his hands began to softly rub my back, I realized, at least for that moment, that I wasn’t alone.

And, I liked it.

TWELVE

Smokey

Be careful what you wish for. I’d said that phrase so many times over the years that it had all but become a mantra. Now, I could look in the mirror and say it to the man looking back at me.

I’d spent every day since Eddie’s birth wishing her mother had lived, and that we could have had the opportunity to raise our child in a two-parent home. Yearning for a slice of normalcy, yet knowing it would never be, every day I wished Eddie could have a life similar to most of her friends. The thought of her being abandoned by a stepmother prevented me from being serious with anyone over the last sixteen years, leaving her mother, Christine, as my last relationship.

If I could call it that.

It was the longest one night stand in the history of mankind. The wend result was the best thing that ever happened to me even if it didn’t go how I’d hoped. Now, fate comes knocking on my door once again, and my wishes are granted.

Kind of.

I’d wanted the ability to raise a child in a family setting. Much to my surprise, my prayers had been answered with Sandy’s pregnancy. Embracing the situation, however, required going against the grain of a lifetime of efforts to protect Eddie from harm.

But I had to do what was right.

We sat in a local coffee shop talking as if we’d just met.

I took a sip of coffee, pushed the cup aside, and studied her. She was a gorgeous woman, if she was nothing else.

“You’re walking through the grocery store parking lot, and there’s a wallet in front of you. You bend down, pick it up, and open it. Twelve $100 bills, and a handwritten note is all that’s inside. No ID, no credit cards, nothing. The note says, Apple juice, graham crackers, and bananas. That’s it. What do you do?”

She grinned. “Where do you come up with this shit?”

“My vault. Answer the question.”

“I load my groceries in my car, lock it, and then go to the customer service counter, and turn it in.”

I nodded. “Good answer.”

“Why does the note say those things? Apple juice, graham crackers, and bananas?”

I shrugged. “They’re things a kid would eat. I was trying to tug at your subconscious heart strings a little.”

“Oh.”

She twisted her mouth to the side and gazed down at the table. After a moment, she looked up. “What if the baby’s a boy. Eighteen years down the road, are you going to encourage him to ride in a club?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not a place for everyone. If he decides on his own that that’s what he wants, so be it. He’ll get no influence from me.”

“You’re his father. He’ll admire you. He’ll naturally want to follow in your footsteps.”