Page 13 of Nuts

“Uh huh.”

“You need to go to church. The nice girls are in church,” she said. “If you’re nosing around, I’m sure it isn’t in the right places.”

My single status wasn’t a result of where I looked, because I was always on the prowl. The reason I wasn’t in a relationship was because I chose not to be. The decision was a conscious one, and one that I was sure was necessary for me to continue living the life I chose to live.

A life where I could silently lurk in the shadows, provide assistance as I felt was necessary, and measure my means of success by the lack of problems that existed in my life.

All concerns in my life were nipped in the bud, and never lasted much longer than it took me to identify them. Adding a woman to the mix would undoubtedly guarantee problems would linger like a dark cloud over my very existence.

If I thought for one minute that a woman existed who would put up with my way of living, never complain about my involvement with the club, satisfy my sexual desires, and be trustworthy, I’d be a fool not to accept her into my life.

But. No such woman existed, and I was sure of it.

“I’ll have a look next time I go to church,” I said.

“Thank you.”

It wasn’t a lie. I hadn’t been to church in twelve years, and had no plans on attending service anytime soon. If I did, I’d peruse the congregation for a mate, and provide my mother with the outcome.

I stood. “I better get to work.”

“Still working at the pier?”

“Yeah, ma. Still at the pier.”

I hadn’t worked at the pier since I was eighteen. I bought and sold collectible baseball cards for a living.

Confused about some things, and still sharply recalling others, there seemed to be no clear rule as to what caused the mix-ups. Not knowing where her mind might take her saddened me.

She turned toward the window, gazed out into the yard, and then looked at me. “Don’t forget to pick up those dead birds.”

“I’ll get ‘em on the way out, ma.”

She lifted her chin. “Give your mother a kiss.”

“I love you, ma.” I kissed her cheek. “Eat the other half of your sandwich before the cheese gets hard.”

“I’m going to tear it up and put it in my soup.”

“Sounds good.” I straightened my posture and looked her over. “I’ll stop back in tonight.”

She waved a dismissive hand toward me. “You don’t have to drive all the way up here from Oceanside. If you want to, I won’t argue, though.”

“I’ll see you tonight.”

“When you see your brothers, remind them what a trouble it was for me to give birth to them. Maybe you’ll guilt them into coming to see me.”

“I’ll let them know,” I said.

I turned toward the door. I knew regardless of what I said to them, they probably wouldn’t return unless it was for her funeral.

And my hope was that day was a long, long way down life’s road.

Chapter Five

Joey

I got out of the shower, dried off, and then rubbed lotion along the length of my right leg. After grabbing the bottle of Bio Oil from the vanity, I spread the substance on my left leg from mid-calf up to where my scarring stopped – at the bottom of my butt cheek.