Page 95 of Nuts

What did you do to deserve her?

Not a damned thing, I decided.

I washed my face and took another look at myself. I didn’t have self-esteem issues. In fact, I would consider myself as an extremely confident man. But. I was a realist.

I hadn’t changed. My manner of living life hadn’t, either. The feelings I felt, however, were all new to me. Experiencing them caused me to fear that one day things may change, leaving me with nothing but a yearning I wouldn’t be able to resolve.

I didn’t want to feel drawn to a woman, in need of her companionship, or reliant upon what she offered me. Being drawn to Joey, in need of her companionship, and reliant upon what she offered me, however, made me feel that my life wasn’t all for naught.

Her knocking on the door startled me.

“What are you doing in there? I’ve got to pee.”

I opened the door. “Thinking about taking a shower.”

Wearing a pair of sweats, and my previous night’s tee, she looked adorable. “Think about letting me pee.”

I waved my arm toward the toilet. “Pee.”

“I can’t with an audience.”

“Me neither.”

I stepped aside and let her walk past me.

“Please close the door, thank you.”

I pulled the door closed, and stood outside waiting. As soon as the toilet flushed, I pushed it open.

“Have any plans today?”

“No. Not really.”

“Not really, or not at all?”

She turned on the water and glanced over her shoulder. “Not at all.”

Her hair was a mess, the clothes she wore were dirty, and they fit her like a tent. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. Yet. She stood before me defining everything that I believed to be beautiful.

“When are you going to get sick of me?” I asked.

Her eyes narrowed. “Sick of you? What’s wrong with you?”

“You don’t think that one of these days you’re going to look around you and decide that maybe I’m not the one for you?”

She turned toward me and shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“Me? This? Us? Whatever you want to call it.”

“I uhhm. I don’t know. I just--”

“You know what?” she asked, her voice thick with frustration.

“What?”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I guess I probably should have, so I will. When we made love, had sex, fucked, whatever you want to call it. The first time? Do you remember when that happened?”