Page 45 of Thick

The makeshift knife would be as sharp as Becker Wallace’s straight razor, and much easier to hide.

I unrolled ten feet of toilet paper, and then rolled it into a tight length of toilet paper rope. Two other squares of the tissue were torn and then fashioned into a loose ball.

Then, I carefully split two of my pencils lengthwise with one of my razor blades. After removing the graphite strips of ‘lead’, I poked one in each side of the electrical wall outlet. Using the scraps of wood, I positioned the two pieces together until the tips of lead touched each other.

The spark created each time the two pieces contacted one another was used to ignite the loose wad of toilet paper. Using that piece of flaming toilet paper, I lit the end of the rope I’d fashioned.

With the flaming toilet paper acting as a rudimentary candle, I melted the toothbrush handle until it was pliable. After inserting the two razor blades into the molten plastic, I carried it to my sink and cooled it with running water.

A quick check of the instrument proved it was sturdy enough to do the job. I then carefully fashioned another just like the first. When I was done, I flushed all the remaining evidence down the toilet.

I placed the two razor knives under my bunk’s rubber mat, and then searched the cell one last time for any clue as to what I’d done. Convinced everything was in order, I climbed into my bunk and fell asleep.

* * *

The sound of bean slots being banged against the cell doors filled me with apprehension. My guess was that I’d have one opportunity to take care of Gravy. If I didn’t succeed during our first visit to the yard, the Savages would recognize me, and any further opportunity would be lost.

The banging sound moved closer. Nervously, I stood a few feet from the door with my hands in my pockets.

My bean slot opened with a bang, and a tray of food was shoved through the opening.

My heart raced at the sight of her. I pounded my hand on the door twice. “Madden!”

She bent down and gazed through the window. Her eyes thinned. Upon realizing who I was, they shot wide. “Reynolds? I didn’t recognize you.”

I was relieved that she didn’t realize who I was. While the cop waited, I shaved my head with a pair of battery-powered clippers in the CVS parking lot. I still wore the beard I’d grown while I wrote my book, which was an oddity for me. I hoped the change in appearance would allow me to sneak up on the Savages without being identified as a Filthy Fucker.

I rubbed my beard. “I haven’t shaved since I left here. It’s a ritual when I write. And, I cut my hair yesterday.”

“It looks different.” Her face washed with worry. “What happened, though? Why are you back?”

“Bullshit charge,” I said. “Hopefully I’ll be out of here as soon as my attorney meets with the DA.”

“What happened?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

“Rode to Chula Vista to clear my head yesterday morning. After I got done eating, I went to a little independent coffee shop. Their tea was awesome, so I bought a big bag of it. You know, the loose-leaf stuff. On the way home, I got pulled over for an illegal lane change, and the cop said he ‘smelled something funny’. He searched my saddle bags, found the tea, and thought it was pot. Because of my association with a motorcycle gang, and the amount of ‘dope’ he found, it’s a fed charge. As soon as they have the lab test it, it’ll prove it’s nothing more than tea. So, I’m in here for being a tea-drinking hippy.”

She laughed, revealing the same smile that brightened each of the shit days I had during my first round of imprisonment in the same shit-hole. Embarrassed, she covered her mouth with her hand. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“Afraid so.”

“That’s worse than Becker Wallace’s charges.”

I was excited that she’d at least started reading it. “You got it already?”

“Finished it last night.”

I wondered if she enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. “What did you think?”

“Best book I’ve ever read. Ever.”

“It’s good, but it’s not that good.”

“It seems everyone disagrees with you on that.”