Page 41 of Undefeated

Shane and I had been seeing each other for six weeks. In some respects, I felt like I had forced myself into his life. In others, I felt that I was invited. After the incident with Josh, I moved in with Shane, in his spare bedroom. It pleased him to look over me and feel like he was protecting me from anything or anyone that might hurt me.

The month or so that Shane and I met before I left Josh, and the six weeks that have followed - seems to me like two years of time has passed. I know more about Shane in this period of time than I ever knew about Josh. Shane is quiet to everyone except Ripp and I. To me, he can talk for hours on end. I like it when Shane talks to me, it’s proof that he cares about what I think, want, or expect in life.

Shane has not told me that he loves me, but I know in some sense that he does. I can feel it. He isn’t broken inside like a lot of people are that do not have family, he’s just shy. He’s shy, but he’s able to love and be loved. More than anything, I want Shane to love me. I want to be his, and I want him to be mine.

“I can’t decide if I like the five miles better than three or not,” he said as he collapsed on the couch.

I walked over and sat at the edge of the couch beside him.

“Well, you ought to know by now, we’ve been running the five for a month and a half,” I said as I pressed my hands into his shirt.

“Well, there are things about it I like, and things that I don’t. I like the amount of time that it takes, but I don’t like the speed we run. I’m just used to running faster,” he said as he sat up.

“Everything you do is a competition. In your head, you compete with yourself,” I said as I slipped my hands under his shirt and felt his stomach muscles.

“I suppose so. I’m just used to running a mile in a little less than six minutes. We don’t run that fast. You run like a girl,” he chuckled.

“You can’t run five as fast as you run three, and I am a girl,” I laughed as I pushed him backward onto the couch.

As he fell, he pulled me with him. I landed face first on his chest, and he wrapped his arms around me. I pressed my face into his massive chest, smelling his shirt as I buried my face in between the muscles of his chest.

“I love how you smell when you get out of the shower,” I said as I raised my face from his chest.

“Who’s the most beautiful woman in the world?” he whispered.

I smiled.

“Who?” he whispered as a smile formed on his face.

I love it when he does this.

I pointed to my chest.

“That’s right,” he responded.

His hands massaged my back as I looked into his eyes. His eyes were the strangest color of grey. They were almost a translucent grey/blue. His eyes alone caused me to feel as if I was powerless against him. Combining his personality, sensitive nature, shy quiet demeanor, and the fact that he was muscle from head to toe was enough to push me over the edge. Every time.

He could take advantage of me at any point in time that he preferred; the fact that he didn’t made me both admire him and hate him both. I pushed my hands against his chest and raised my body from his. I looked down at his torso and chest. His tight tank top hugged his muscled torso.

This is freaking ridiculous.

“Why don’t we ever go any further than this, Shane?” I asked as I admired his body.

He raised his hands to his face and covered his cheeks and eyes with his palms. As he rubbed his face, I grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands free and up to my shoulders. I wanted so desperately to place them on my chest, but I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

He squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side, “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

“We’ve talked about this. Please, take advantage of me. I’m begging you,” I laughed.

He smiled and rolled his eyes.

“It’s not taking advantage of me if I want you to do it,” I said as I held his wrists.

“It is if you’re not ready,” he responded as he squeezed my shoulders lightly.

“I’m ready,” I said.

“I don’t think so,” he responded.