Page 88 of Undefeated

“I suppose so, I really like him,” I responded as I walked through the door.

“A little advice?” he turned my direction and smiled.

“Okay,” I responded.

“Starting right now - don’t be anyone but you. And be one hundred percent honest with him regarding your wants, desires, and hopes. Tell him what it is that you expect and want in the relationship. Don’t sacrifice what you want for the sake or thought of making him happy. Make him understand what it is that’s important to you from the start. If you don’t, you’ll forever regret what it is that you’re giving up – what it is that you’re not receiving. If you tell him now, you’ll give him the chance to discuss it, consider it, or ultimately – provide it,” he adjusted his neck tie, smiled, and looked down at his shoes. He seemed to become sad.

“For ten years of marriage, Mrs. Martin didn’t bake sweets because she felt that she didn’t want to temp me to eat unhealthy foods. For ten years, I snuck to the diner alone and ate a slice of pie. I ate a different type of pie every time I went. I love pie, by the way,” he looked up at me, smiled, and continued.

“I lived with ten years of guilt for sneaking out and eating the pie alone. She lived with ten years of misery for giving up something she truly loved – baking pastries and sweets. Had we only discussed it at the beginning, those ten years would have been so much better for us both. It might sound silly or simple, but that’s just an example,” he adjusted his tie and offered another smile.

“Thank you, Mr. Martin,” I smiled, “I’ll do that.”

As he walked down the hall to his office, I went back to my desk and made a list.

Of what was important to me in a relationship.

SHANE. Kace had become the most important thing in my life. In many respects, Kace had become my life. For me to admit Kace’s importance was simple and second nature. Two years ago, I expect it would have been impossible for me to admit this. Now, however, I didn’t hesitate. Now that I have had Kace in my life, to imagine not having her made me feel extremely uneasy.

I wasn’t simply attracted to Kace. I felt as if I needed her. Merely having her accompany me in life provided me with a feeling of completion. Similar, I suppose, to concluding a long journey.

Kace made me stop. Stop wanting. Stop wondering. Stop looking. Stop thinking. Stop running.

And begin.

Living, breathing, and being.

I didn’t feel an attraction to her because she’d been in an abusive relationship I didn’t feel like I had rescued her either. I felt like I opened her eyes and gave her ideas of what her options were. I loved Kace because she was genuine. I loved Kace because she was a beautiful person.

I loved Kace because she was Kace.

“A list, huh?” I chuckled as I pulled a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“I’m serious. I brought it home with me. I put a lot of thought into it,” she paused and waited at the end of the kitchen countertop.

“I wasn’t laughing at your list, babe. I was laughing because you’re so fucking adorable. You’re different than any other girl I’ve ever known. You, at least after leaving Buster, aren’t afraid to say what you think. I like it. I like you,” I said as I walked her direction.

“Well, you want to go over it?” she asked as she pulled a folded sheet of yellow paper from her purse.

“Absolutely, let’s go in the living room,” I said as I walked past her.

She kicked her heels off onto the kitchen floor an ran past me as I walked to the couch. She bounced into the chair on the opposite side of the couch and unfolded the sheet of paper.

“You don’t want to sit together?” I asked as I sat down on the couch, patting the cushion beside me with my hand.

“Nope. I want to sit here and watch you while we talk,” she bounced excitedly in the cushion as she spoke.

“Okay, let’s get to it,” I responded as I took a sip of water from the bottle.

“Okay, here’s what I would want to be in a perfect relationship with you. I want to know if these things are okay with you, not okay, or something we could discuss. Some are really important, and some not as much. I decided we need to get this out of the way,” she flipped her hair over her shoulders and stretched the wrinkles from the paper.

“What if I take exception to something?” I asked, more jokingly than serious.

“Well, depending on what it is, we’ll address it at the time, but be honest,” she nodded her head sharply as she finished the sentence.

“Okay.”

“Promise?” she turned her head slightly and smiled.