Page 47 of Baby Girl

What if I became parched and my lips cracked because I was here with no water?

Oh. My. God. What if I have to pee? I’m going to have to hold it. What if I can’t hold it? I’d pee in my bed. Oh yuck, that’s gross. I can’t pee in the bed. I will hold it if I have to pee. I’m so thirsty, I need a drink.

My eyes itch. I need to scratch my eyes. Someone needs to scratch my eyes. Scratch my eyes and give me a drink. If I have a drink, it will make me pee. I don’t want a drink. All I need is my eyes scratched. That’s’ it. If someone would come scratch my eyes, I would be fine. If someone could scratch my eyes, they could untie me, so it wouldn’t matter.

If someone untied me or scratched my eyes, they would see me naked. No, that’s not going to happen. No one except for Erik is seeing me naked. I didn’t need anything. I could lay here for a lot longer and need absolutely nothing. Nothing at all. There was blindfolding me, tying my arms, and then he left. That’s when…no, wait. We had salad. And then we came into the room. And then, there was the blindfolding. And. I counted to six hundred. Six hundred seconds is sixty minutes, there’s sixty minutes in an hour, so I counted for an hour.

I have been here, tied up for hours. What did I do? Did I make him mad at me? Did I deserve this?

What did I do? When did I make him mad? When?

We ate sushi on Tuesday, and on the way here, I sucked his cock in the car. He didn’t cum. We got here, and we had sex, and fell asleep on the couch. On Sunday we watched movies. I didn’t do anything on Sunday that was bad.

Oh, maybe the blowjob in the car? Maybe it was that. Maybe I made him mad because I didn’t make him cum. He came when we had sex. Before we fell asleep on the couch. But maybe he wanted me to make him cum in the car. I don’t ever want him to be mad at me. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me, ever. I didn’t make him cum in the car when we left the sushi place.

That’s it, this is punishment. I deserve it, I am so stupid. I should have demanded we stay in the parking garage until he came. He wanted to cum, and I didn’t do it. I gave up too early. It was a test and I failed. I am so stupid. God, I am so stupid. I am so sorry, Erik. I am so, so sorry.

Wait. Six hundred seconds. That’s six hundred seconds. That’s. There’s sixty seconds in a minute, so divide. Divide. Divide six hundred by sixty. Sixty goes into six hundred. Ten.

Ten.

Ten what?

Six hundred seconds.

Ten fucking minutes. You’re such an idiot. You’ve been here ten minutes. Well, no. You’ve been here ten minutes, plus everything else.

Thirty minutes.

Maybe an hour.

This was so disappointing. Not Erik, but me. I was so disappointed in myself that I didn’t make him cum that day in the car. How stupid am I?

God, please make Erik come back. No, God, please let Erik forgive me for being so stupid. No, no…no. Stop. Stop. I’m not stupid. Well, I am stupid, but I don’t want to say ‘stupid’ in a prayer.

God, please let Erik forgive for making the mistakes that I so easily make. Let me be a better person, and make good decisions for Erik, like a good girl. Let Erik see that I am not a bad girl, and that I always want to do whatever I can to make him happy, above all. Above all except you, God. In your name, Amen.

I woke up. I think I woke up. I may have been asleep. Maybe I wasn’t asleep. I am not sure what is going on. I’m hearing noises. There’s someone in the kitchen. Oh my God. Someone is in the kitchen.

It’s got to be Erik. He came to untie me. My punishment is over.

What if it’s not Erik?

Lay here and be quiet. Be quiet in case it’s not Erik. Be quiet, Kelli. Be quiet.

The footsteps are getting closer. Someone is in the room, I can hear them breathing. It’s really dark, maybe they won’t see me.

I felt a hand on my thigh, and I twitched.

“Erik?”

“Erik, is that you?”

“Erik?”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Motherfucker, if Erik finds out you were here, he’s going to fucking kill you. Erik Ead, he’s a fucking bad-ass, and he’s going to cut your fucking throat, do you hear me?”