Page 65 of Money Shot

Bradley barked.

Vince raised the spoon, dumped the salsa on the side of his plate, and shook his head. “His stomach’s bothering him after that tamale.”

“Bradley!” Anita said.

Bradley turned, studied what she held in her hand, and upon recognizing it, ran past me toward Anita. As he reached her side, he quickly sat down and tilted his head back slightly. She tossed the piece of tamale in the air and Bradley caught it in mid-flight. After gobbling it up and licking his lips, he glanced toward Vince and me.

“See?” Anita said. “He knows what he likes.”

“Tamales,” I said with a laugh.

She patted her hand against my knee. “That’s right, Honey. He loves the tamales.”

“Stephen, you’re picking again. Did you eat with those boys before you came?” she asked.

“Ma, how many times do I have to tell you? Sienna and I eat every Sunday. And we ate at noon. It’s 5:30 now. So, to answer you, no, I didn’t eat with the boys. And I’m not picking, I’ve had two tacos and two tamales,” he said as he poked his fork in his half-eaten tamale and raised it in the air.

“Well, what did you eat for lunch? Maybe you’re still full,” she said.

Vince sighed and bit into the tamale. “We do this every week, Ma. I’m not full. I’m hungry, and I’m eating.”

“You’re talking with your mouth full again. That’s what you’re doing. If that’s the type of manners those boys are teaching you, you need to just quit that little club,” she said.

Vince swallowed the tamale and took a drink of tea. “I’m not quitting the club, and they’re not a bunch of manner lacking pigs.”

“How would I know? You never bring them over for dinner. It makes me wonder, Stephen,” she said. “I’ve always wondered.”

“Keep wondering. They’re not coming over,” he snapped back. “Not now, not ever.”

Uh oh, time to change the subject.

Although Vince was in the MC, and was an active member, he wasn’t at all what I expected a member of an MC to be. He went to all the meetings, rode in all the mandatory runs, and sometimes I was convinced he loved his motorcycle more than he loved me, but he wasn’t really friends with any of the members. He didn’t hang out with them, ride with them, or do anything with them that wasn’t mandatory or sanctioned by the club.

He told me he didn’t trust them, and I silently wondered why he was in the club with 30 members he didn’t trust. He explained the trust of the brotherhood was much different than trusting someone as a friend, and even though they were each his brother, none were his true friend.

It made sense, but it didn’t make perfectsense.

I suspected, like with all things Vince, he simply didn’t want to set himself up for a failure by being misled, lied to, or develop and expectation and have it unmet.

“It’s warming up outside, huh?” I said.

“It sure is, Honey,” Anita said.

Vince stood from his seat. “I’ve got to go to the bathroom, excuse me.”

“You’re excused, Dear,” his mother said.

After he walked away, Anita patted me on the leg. I turned toward her and grinned, assuming she was going to say something about Bradley eating tamales, but that wasn’t the case. What she chose to share with me provided considerable insight to Vince, and why he was the way he was about some things. As she covered the side of her mouth to speak, I knew what she was going to say was about Vince, but only after she proceeded to speak in a light whisper, did I realized the significance of what she was telling me.

“When Stephen was a little boy, he had very close friend. He was the cutest little boy, and so polite, his name was Jackson. They were inseparable. The little boy had a heart condition, and we all knew it, but it wasn’t something we ever discussed. You know, as parents we think those things will always work themselves out. Well, he lived down the block,” she said, pausing and pointing over her shoulder.

“Three houses down. They started kindergarten on the same day, and were together until third grade. The bus picked them up at the corner. I think Stephen was nine and Jackson was ten at the time.” She lowered her fork to her plate, leaned forward, and peered through the doorway to confirm Vince wasn’t coming.

“He died that summer. Vince hasn’t had a friend since. Not a single one. And when that woman…when she cheated on him? I thought he’d never be the same. The two people he opened up to and chose to let into his life had both let him down. I guess they were each for separate reasons, but he didn’t see it as different. You know, he looks at things differently than most, and I blame it on him losing Jackson,” she said.

Vince hadn’t told me about his friend. As with many things from childhood, I suspected it may have been something he chose to forget, but I doubted that was the case. More than likely he remembered it, and the memory of losing a loved one and a cherished friend at such a young age not only affected Vince then, but still affected him today.

“That’s so sad,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

“So were we, Honey. They moved out right after. We lost them all. The Smiths. A wonderful couple and a wonderful little boy,” she said.

As soon as she finished speaking, Vince walked back into the dining room. I turned toward him and forced myself to smile the best I was able.

“I love you,” I said.

It wasn’t all I could offer him, but it was the best I could do. I meant it, and I wanted him to know it. He needed to know it, understand it, and hopefully believe it.

“I love you, too,” he said with a smile as he sat down.

I told myself as I watched him prepare another taco that regardless of how bad things ended up, or how difficult life became that I would always be there for Vince. I would be the one person in his life that would never let him down.

And all I could hope was that one day he would be able to realize my devotion, my sincerity, and my need to have him as my significant other.

At that moment, and forever.