Page 41 of Devil’s Disciples

“They’re evil spirits hidden inside children’s bodies. Did you see that movie? The one with that little girl that gets sucked into the TV?”

“They love you, Andy. I can’t believe you’d--”

“If they love me, why don’t they act like it? Last night, Helen was running around the house saying, Andy, Andy, your hair’s like cotton candy.”

“What do you expect?”

“I expect to be left alone. I was watching a movie.”

“You died it pink.” Her eyebrows raised. “Kids are perceptive.”

“It’s strawberry blonde. Maybe she’s colorblind.”

“She’s not colorblind. It’s kind of pink. She’s gifted, by the way.”

I coughed out a laugh. She was gifted in the art of being annoying.

“What?” She gave me a look. “She is.”

“The other one was out on the porch with a can of hairspray and that spark thingy for the barbeque grill. He was using them as a flamethrower to kill bugs.”

“That doesn’t make him evil.”

“Where does an eight-year-old even learn such shit?”

“His dad used to do it all the time.”

“The same guy that had a hot dog dick.” I chuckled. “Explains a lot.”

She took a drink of wine and then finished what was in her glass. As she poured another, she looked at me over the top of the bottle. “How many guys have you had sex with?”

It was a question I hated being asked. I’d gone through phases in my life, most of which included using sex as a means of lifting my self-esteem high enough that I felt worthy of taking up space on earth.

My lack of trust in men made sure that I rarely fucked any one man long enough to develop feelings. For someone who enjoyed sex as much as I did, not committing to men had its pitfalls. I’d had sex with more men than I cared to count.

“Quite a few,” I said sheepishly.

“How many is that?”

“I don’t know. Quite a few.”

“Like, six?”

I almost choked to death laughing. I’d screwed six different men before I fell in love. “No. More than that. What’s it matter?”

“I guess it doesn’t.” She took a sip of wine and then nodded toward my hand. “They didn’t all have dicks that big, did they?”

I shook my head. “No. Baker’s dick is special.”

“Special in size? Or something else?”

I wasn’t sure how to respond. It could have been the size alone that satisfied me so much. Or, how he used it. I wondered if who it was attached to had anything to do with it.

“I’m not sure,” I said. “I’ll try and figure it out the next time we go at it.”

“There’s going to be a next time?”

“I hope so.”