Page 27 of Remember Me

I chuckle, but deep down I’m worried there will be no need for me to hang around, so I ask the question, “Will Lottie still need help at home?”

“As much as I’d like Charlotte to gather some independence at home, she will need help with certain tasks that require her to stand or walk for long periods of time.”

“No problem at all, I’ll continue to help Lottie out,” I say with a genuine smile on my face. I may be on borrowed time, but I still have some left.

“Don’t forget to make an appointment with the therapist, Charlotte. CBT can be very helpful for amnesia patients,” Dr. Carter mentions, and I make a mental note to ensure she does this. I need my Lottie back.

What takes me aback most is that, on our way to the room to have the cast removed, Lottie turns around to look at me and says, “I’m so excited to have this cast off of my leg, it’s been itching like crazy recently, like my leg is rejecting the plaster and wants to see daylight again.”

I’m struck dumb. It’s almost like having a glimpse of the old Lottie back, and I genuinely don’t know what to say—This is the most she has spoken to me in days. So, I just nod and smile, but the warmth it leaves behind spreads all the way to my bones like I haven’t seen the sun for days. That’s how much I need Lottie’s voice; she brings me joy no matter what she’s saying.

Dr. Carter lets Lottie know the process for removing the cast, and as soon as he mentions the word saw—albeit one that is not the same as the ones used for wood cutting and will not even touch her skin—the look of apprehension and sweat beading on her forehead gives away the anxiety riddled throughout her body.

I grab her hand tightly, “Lotts, focus on me, ok? He’s not going to cut your leg, just the cast. Try to relax. I promise to keep my eyes on yours and not on your hairy leg,” I say, smirking at her. She giggles—actually giggles—and swats at my chest for good measure. I’ll take that as a win.

“Is your chest carved from stone or something? I think I nearly broke my hand,” she says as she rubs at her palm. I miss this version of her. These little glimpses give me hope, but also tear me apart inside as that’s all they are: glimpses of what used to be.

“Deep breaths, angel,” I whisper into her ear as I retake the hand she just whacked me with. I swear my whole body shivers at how close we are right now, and Lottie seems to be feeling something too as she takes full advantage of the situation and snuggles a bit more into me, allowing me to comfort her.

As the saw starts moving through the cast and Lottie realizes her leg isn’t going to be amputated, she begins to relax again—until she sees the scarring she’s been left with. It’s pink and puckered and still looks slightly angry. Her head turns and burrows into my chest, and I can feel my T-shirt becoming damp. I need to take her mind off this.

“Don’t cry, Lotts, that hair is nothing a hedge trimmer can’t fix.”

She snorts and hiccups, her body vibrating with laughter. It’s not even that long, but it’s made her feel lighter, and that’s all that matters right now.

Chapter 20

Charlotte

It feels so freeing to have that cast removed even though I’m not looking forward to learning how to use my crutches, or the weeks of PT I now have to endure. But if it means Jake’s freedom from me and releasing him from this nightmare, then that’s a good thing.

Keep telling yourself that Charlotte and one day you might just believe it. Just like this therapy will help me with my memories. Yeah right.

When we left Dr. Carter's office, I was determined to use my crutches. I didn’t realize how difficult they would be to use, though. I’m stumbling and wobbling all over the place, but I need to do this.

“Come on, Lotts, use the chair for now. You’ve literally just got the cast off. You can practice with the crutches once we’re back at yours,” Jake says to me.

He’s hovering, hands out to catch me with every step I take. Even the other patients around us are holding their breaths. Finally, I relent and get into the wheelchair. I’ve only managed about a hundred yards, but it feels good to take the weight off. I can’t wait for the days when I’ll be able to run and practice yoga again.

The journey home seems to take forever. I suppose it doesn’t help that I’ve gone silent on Jake again. I just feel so awkward and guilty, and then I don’t know what to say so I keep quiet.

“I’ve arranged for the girls to come round and see you when we get back. I need to get a workout in with the guys. Plus, I thought it would be good for you to see Alyssa and Kayla. You haven’t really seen them since the accident,” Jake says while concentrating on the road in front of him.

Another thing to feel guilty for—I’ve neglected my friends. I’m sure they understand, but the thought makes my stomach turn. I plaster on the happiest voice I can and turn to Jake, “Sounds great, I can’t wait to see everybody.” It’s not a total lie, but I’d really like to wallow alone in my bedroom right now.

Settled on the sofa with my chamomile tea, I wait for the girls to arrive. Jake’s taken Bella for a walk before he goes for his workout, so I have a moment to text Wren.

Charlotte - Hey! I had my cast off today!

Wren - Hey stranger, glad to hear it. Why haven’t I heard from you?

Charlotte - I’m not exactly cheerful right now and didn’t want to bring you down with me.

Wren - Bitch don’t be silly, I’m your bestie. You’re going through a shitty time. Lean on people.

Charlotte - Kayla and Alyssa are coming over today.

Wren - That’s great, it’ll be good for you to see them.