Page 18 of The Gods Order

“Hypocrite? I never keep secrets from you,” Verlet says.

“Oh really? So it’s not a secret that you’ve both known this entire time that Thayla had the power to free the Veilatara and you chose not to tell her?”

The two Veilatara shift, glancing at one another, then back at us.

“Oh,” they both mutter.

Yeah…oh.

Finding out that truth earlier tonight didn’t hurt as bad then as it does now.

“Let us explain,” Verlet says.

I shake my head. “Why didn’t you both trust that I’d listen to you and wouldn’t do anything until you told me I could? Why didn’t you trust me?”

A tremor passes through him and Seismet as though my low, admittedly hurt tone hurts them.

“Thayla, we trust you with our lives. This I swear on the stars,” Verlet says as he and Seismet inch closer. “Not telling you had nothing to do with trust and everything to do with not adding to everything the five of you have going on. There was—is—nothing you could do about our situation for now, and knowing how to fix it but not being able to would’ve added unnecessary stress to your lives.”

“You don’t think we’ve been stressing trying to find the answers that you both already had?” Riven asks.

“We know you have been,” Verlet neighs softly. “We also know exactly what we’ve done, and we know this hurt you to find out. I am so very sorry about that.”

Some of the heat in Riven’s glare lessens and he throws a handful of meadow grass to the side as he cranes his neck back toward the stars.

“Thayla, there wasn’t a single day that passed where I didn’t question whether I should just tell you,” Seismet says.

My chest tightens.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“Because you knowing wouldn’t have changed anything. The Veilatara still can’t be freed. Not yet. Not even me. If I had told you, you would’ve carried the burden around with you. Obsessing over it.”

I open my mouth to argue and he huffs at me.

“Don’t try to deny it. You would’ve made it your number one problem. Amick would’ve researched until his eyes bled. Creed would’ve thrown himself into danger to find a solution. Riven would’ve raged until you or us gave in to his demands.”

Riven sneers. “And Kyzen would’ve what? Nothing?”

“Accepted it,” Verlet says, and we face Kyzen.

He gives us a tight smile and a shrug.

“It’s not time.”

Silence settles around us with his quiet statement, and my eyes drift back shut as I lean harder against Creed’s chest.

“We may have made the wrong decision keeping this secret from you all, but at the end of the day, we made the choice believing it would spare you pain, not cause it. We are sorry and understand you’re all upset. We aren’t asking you not to be. We’re asking you to understand our decision came from a place of love and protection. Not mistrust or lack of faith. We have all the faith in every single one of you,” Verlet says.

I hate how much I do understand. His, Seismet’s, and V’s explanations. None of their words make the hurt disappear or excuse the choices, but they all make me face the fact they’re right. About all of it.

If V had told me, I would’ve searched for my father. If the Veilatara had told me, I would’ve made it my problem. I would’ve chased and obsessed over answers.

If there truly wasn’t a thing I could’ve done about it or it really wouldn’t have changed the Veilatara’s situation, then the knowledge would’ve only become another weight around my neck. Another impossible thing to carry.

That doesn’t mean I’m happy about any of this or that I’m over it.

It means I understand.