Page 237 of The Gods Order

My tears flow freely as I put enough of it together on my own.

“They—we’ll never feel our Starwoven bond.”

“No. Not in the way you should.”

I swallow and let my lids drift shut. I don’t bother wiping away the water pouring from them. A full-blown sob tears from me when she pulls me into a hug.

“I want you to know, Derivius did split your soul to keep you safe and alive. But most importantly, he split it so you could feel what your Starwoven bond should feel like. He wanted you to experience that and he wanted them to be able to sense what it’s like to have a soul love theirs.”

That fucking wrecks me.

I cry so hard I can’t draw air into my lungs.

She doesn’t rush me or shush me. She lets me fall apart on her chest while softly stroking the back of my hair.

“H-how do I fix it?” I ask, forcing my back straight as I dry my face on my shirt. “How do I get that fucker’s soul out of them?”

I loathe the sad smile she gives me.

“The only way to remove his soul from theirs is if he has no soul at all.” She holds her hand up, halting me from saying anything. “I know taking his life is what your men, you, many, many others want, but to take his life would truly and irrevocably ruin this realm. Everything everyone has done would be for nothing because the realm would descend into its true end. Like it or not, he’s a massive piece of the foundation.”

I throw my hands up and turn from her.

“Then what’s the fucking point of all of this? If we can’t defeat him permanently, then how does this ever truly end?”

“It ends when he no longer has power.”

The pacing I just started stops, and I peer at her out of the corner of my eye.

“Are you saying the way we stop him and Sabe is to take their power from them? Is that why I’m really collecting Bindings?”

She nods once.

“Once the original Gods Binding is back whole, it can withdraw their power and cleanse the corruption.”

“And that will happen instantly? I put all seven in and bam, he’ll be powerless?” I growl when she tightens her lips. “What? Please, just tell me.”

“Like the realm itself, the Binding has taken damage. It’ll take some time for it to heal, then do what it’s supposed to do properly.”

“Great,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. “War could very well tear the realm apart in the meantime.”

“Let’s hope not,” she mumbles.

My hands grip my hips as I stare at the ground and attempt to center myself. I let everything she told me settle inside my mind. So, so many pieces are finally making sense.

“Is there anything you can warn me about? Anything to help us prepare for what Kira’s going to do?”

Her mouth parts, but all that comes out is a small gasp.

Fear and confusion hold me hostage as her eyes turn black and she falls still. I stare at her as she stares into nothing. It feels like minutes tick by as I wait for her to finally take a shuddering breath.

“Mom,” I say, rushing to her side.

“I’m okay.”

I don’t press her as she lays her hand to her heart and takes countless breaths.

“I’ve apparently shared more than I was supposed to already. I’m sorry, my girl.”