Page 73 of The Gods Order

Also, Riven will feed into their obvious distaste at seeing our affection like it’s a feast made just for him.

“Okay. What am I doing?”

“The same exercise. Start with separating the sound of the critters,” Val instructs as he laces his hands behind his back.

Kyzen takes a few steps away from me as I shake my hands out and roll my shoulders. With a deep breath, I allow my eyes to fall shut just as Yemi did to prepare herself.

The sounds are easy enough to find. Tiny rustles hidden throughout the meadow. Soft clicking of critters moving through foliage, leaves rustling against one another, and the quiet whispers of the wind. It’s just life moving along. Nature doing its thing.

The explanations Val gave Yemi replay through my mind, and I repeat the important bits until I’m sure I understand what I’m supposed to be doing. I don’t think about the outcome or even the critters themselves.

Just separating my hearing from the sound they’re making. The connection between us. I reach for my Boundaries and a fierce tingle blazes down my spine. It’s wrong, though. Well, not wrong. The sensation feels different than it normally does.

My power continues to stir, and I decide to ease it out of me rather than releasing my hold all at once.

Instead of that being what happens, it lunges toward the sound of the critters faster than my thoughts can order it not to. A curse slips from my mouth as I snatch it back.

Yep, that wasn’t right. That was strange.

“Do you know what you did wrong?” Val asks.

I bow my shaking head and place my hands on my hips.

“Not exactly. It was like reaching for something and feeling my hand close around something completely different. My mind knows what to do, but my power, hell, maybe my instincts want to do something else.”

He hums and nods, giving me no other explanation.

“Try again.”

The second attempt goes no better. Neither does the third.

“Walk me through what you’re doing step-by-step,” Val says as he strolls to my side.

We both face the tree line and I close my eyes. I focus solely on the racket the critters are making.

“I find the sound.”

“Good. Then what?”

My breath pours out of me as I split my attention between the critters and the space between us.

“The connection.”

“Exactly. Now pinpoint your power at the connection.”

I reach for my power, and it attempts to surge through me once again. I put a damn death grip on it and only allow it to trickle out. Instead of quieting the critters’ chirps, the rustling of leaves vanishes, then returns. Then fucking vanishes again.

My eyes snap open.

“Damn it.”

“What happened?” Yemi asks.

“I don’t know,” I say as I throw my hands up.

I swear not knowing what’s going wrong frustrates me more than actually failing. Failing I can tolerate. Like my little psycho says, try, try again.

I can’t try, try again if I don’t know what the hell is going wrong to begin with.