Page 188 of Breathe Like Hell

Neither am I.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

DAKOTA

Micah had been looking at me weirdly this entire morning; ever since I’d mentioned not having my period again this month. Like he knew something I didn’t.

But what would he know? This was relatively normal on my birth control. I didn’t mention it for a specific reason; I was just talking.

“Is something wrong?” I asked him, sitting at the breakfast table with my cereal. I’d moved on to off-brand frosted mini wheats. Something about generic brand cereal was better to me.

“What do you mean?” Micah responded, still looking out the window at the backyard, where the heavy snow was already mostly gone, only a light layer remaining. There was tension lining his shoulders.

“You look tense,” I commented, dragging my spoon through the milk.

“I’m not tense.”

“Well—”

“Mason’s going to bring you a pregnancy test. Okay? Just to try it.”

“Um.” I stared at him. He turned around after a minute. “Mason said⁠—”

“Yeah. It’s not possible. And neither of us are lying about that. I wouldn’t lie about that.” He dragged a hand through his hair, bicep flexing. “I just…It doesn’t matter. Would you take a test if I bought one?”

“I guess so. I haven’t had any pregnancy symptoms, though. Other than missing my period, but that’s normal with my birth control. Like I told you.”

“You’ve been tired.”

“I’ve been tired my entire life.”

“Okay.” He slipped his phone out of his pocket, then typed something on it before putting the device away again. “Mason’s almost here.”

“Seriously? You don’t seriously think I’d be pregnant, do you?” Nervousness began to thread itself through my veins, weaving its way through me in a shivering wave. It wasn’t possible, and even if it was, I had zero intentions on having a child right now. I would figure something out. I had to.

“I don’t know what I think. I know what I think is possible, but I also know you are different than anyone I’ve ever encountered. Maybe I don’t know everything.”

“I took a test at Thanksgiving, and it said negative.”

Micah looked at me. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know. I was being irrational. It was expired, though, so I’m not sure if the results are affected by that.”

“They are. False negatives are much more common with an expired test.”

I squeezed my hands together, fingers twisting. “Well, that’s all I had. You don’t really think I could be pregnant, do you?”

“If I’m thinking logically, no, I do not think that. But there’s something worrying me. I just need to be sure of what’s going on.”

“I can’t have a baby right now,” I said, my voice starting to shake.

“It’s okay⁠—”

“I really, really can’t, Micah.”

“I don’t think you will,” he said. “But we’re going to make sure.”

“Wait.” I shook my head, panic squeezing my throat tight, anxiety settling into the grooves of my brain. “Wait. I actually don’t want to do this right now, I⁠—”