Page 108 of Under Restless Skies

He walks out the door, leaving me here, counting seconds, and yet trying to come to terms with all this information, with all these feelings. Overflowing feelings.

And I realize what was missing from my night with Alayel: my heart. I was so afraid of breaking it that I never let him touch it.

I felt so brave and bold, giving in to our night of sex, when in fact I was dressed from head to toe in fear.

But I need to stop thinking about Alayel, stop even thinking about the love that could have been with Marcus, or who hid his letters. It was Laristella, obviously, and yet I can’t hate her for that, for stopping a relationship that was never meant to be.

I need to figure out that staff; that’s what I need to do.

The door looks scarier and more imposing than before, and I’m not sure if I should dare knock or just wait outside. As much as I think I should speak to Commander Mallor, now that I’m here, I’m reconsidering my decision.

What if he sees me, remembers he wants me out of the academy, and finds a way to get me expelled? And yet he told me he appreciated what I did, how I stopped the rider. Plus, he’s the only person, other than Alayel, who knows I touched the staff. Unlike Alayel, he might know where the object is being kept and what they’re doing to it.

But I still don’t want to knock on the door and commit some kind of unforgivable blunder. The man is scary, after all.

When I’m about to turn around and leave, the door opens, and I step back, startled.

Mallor frowns. “Come in.”

I walk into his office, and he closes the door behind me, then asks, “Something wrong?”

“No. Or maybe.”

He sits at his desk again, and I take a seat across from him, too late realizing that telling him that I omitted important information about the staff won’t look good.

“Did you find anything?” he asks. “About the bastard prince?”

Lots of things. None of them useful to Mallor, except for one detail. “I asked him about his roommate, didn’t tell him I knew he’d been killed. Alayel seems to be under the impression that he ran away.”

Mallor blinks. “The kid lies well. You can’t trust what he says.”

“Then how…” I bite my lip, fearing I’m about to sound like an idiot.

The commander leans back. “Observe. And perhaps… You know what? I release you from this mission. He might be dangerous. I suggest staying away from the prince.”

“But we’re friends.”

Mallor taps his fingers on his table. “Try to stay away, then. No need to figure out anything. If you find out anything, inform me, but keep your distance.”

I wonder if he’ll expel me, and a wave of fear takes me. “I’ll try.”

He raises a hand. “No. And you’re still not in trouble, but I’ll reassess your position during Cardiana’s festival.”

“Based on what?” The question slips. “I mean, if I don’t have an assignment⁠—”

“Keep your head down and don’t get in trouble. That’s your new assignment. Is that all?”

“Yes,” I say quickly, deciding it’s better to walk away before I get in real trouble by mentioning the staff.

He narrows his eyes, pulls the bell, and rings it. “Tell me what you came here to say.”

Right. Shit. He knows when people lie.

I close my eyes. “The staff. I didn’t tell you everything about it.” I wait a second for him to scold me, but he watches me with a placid expression, and I take a deep breath. “I touched it, yes. And it didn’t hurt me. That part is true. What I didn’t mention is that the rider didn’t forget it. He didn’t simply walk away from it. Instead, he threw the staff on the floor, as if giving it to me or leaving it behind—on purpose. I wonder if it could be some trap, some weapon, something. I think back to that staff, and it scares me.”

The corners of his eyes tighten, observing me, and yet his composure doesn’t shift. “The artifact is in a safe location.”

“Far from the castle?”