Page 117 of Under Restless Skies

“It’s me,” Alayel says.

“Oh. Hanging around these parts?”

“No.” He prowls toward me, his steps slow. “You didn’t come to my room, so I figured I had to find you.”

“Why?” I pretend to have no idea what he’s talking about.

He sighs. “Goodness, Mayara. Stop doing this. Stop pretending you mean nothing to me.”

I want to laugh, but I swallow it. “Oh. Is that supposed to be a problem?”

“You’re upset, aren’t you?”

I cross my arms and narrow my eyes. “Why should I be upset?”

My voice cracks a little, perhaps because my heart is making such a racket in my chest. Even cold and hurt and hollow, it has this impossible strength to draw my attention to its whims.

He swallows, then makes his sad boy, pitiful face. “You think I don’t love you.”

I don’t even understand what he’s trying to get at. “Is there anything false in such a thought?”

“Everything false!” His roar stuns me. “Everything! I meant everything I told you. I want you to be my queen. You were acting odd this morning, then you didn’t come to my room. Was that because of last night?”

“You’re smart, Alayel. Figure it out.”

“Weren’t you the one who said that the space between unsaid words was ripe for misunderstandings? Tell me. Tell me why you’re upset. I’d rather deal with your anger than your indifference.”

“So indifference does bother you. Funny.”

He takes a deep breath. “You need to understand the stakes here. I told you that I will be king. You know that. You’re also well aware that Ledeia has to hide her relationship with that pitiful fisherman. You clearly understand that, and understand why they do it. With you, it’s the same. As much as I like you, we can’t be together out in the open, and I’m sure you’re quite smart to understand why, Mayara.”

“You never told me that.”

He raises a shoulder. “Because it was obvious?”

“We were seen together a few times.”

“A few times doesn’t mean much. Now, I can’t let people think we’re serious. Can’t let anyone know how I truly feel about you. It would ruin everything I fought for. Sometimes we need to be patient.”

I look down. As much as what he’s saying makes sense, something feels wrong. “So you had to flirt with your former lover?”

“You need to understand that it’s a good distraction, a great way to take the attention off you. A way to protect you, Mayara. It’s good to create the impression that I’m bedding other women.”

“Is it just an impression?”

He rolls his eyes. “When would I even have the opportunity to sleep with anyone else? You’re with me every night. When exactly am I going to be doing that?”

“Last night I wasn’t with you.”

“Is that what you think of me? Truly? That I’d fuck someone else at the first opportunity I had?”

“Isn’t that the impression you want to create? Can you blame me for finding your performance convincing?”

“No. No. And it’s my fault. I’m sorry. I should have told you.” He approaches me and cups my face in his hands. “We can do this together. We can make a game of pretending, of fooling everyone.”

His face is so close, his words so soothing, that I don’t know if I want to punch him or kiss him.

“I don’t want it like that,” I finally say.