Page 139 of Under Restless Skies

“They do, Mayara. You know your body will be taken to Auranius.”

I shake my head. “They say it’s a great honor to be burned by dragon fire.”

“You can think it’s a great honor to sustain our dragon guardian.” He places a gentle finger under my chin and raises my face to his. “Mayara, you can’t let that upset you. If you want to be our queen, you need to understand that the kingdom needs to make hard choices. It’s not even that hard. We wouldn’t survive without Auranius.”

“Makes sense.” The lie slips from my lips. “I… shouldn’t have gone looking.”

Of course I should have looked, but, for now, I’d rather pretend that I agree with Alayel. To be fair, he’s not completely wrong, but then there’s everything else Mallor told me. I shouldn’t believe that man, and yet his words rang true. Perhaps because they make sense, and it’s hard to dispute their truth.

“No,” he says. “It’s good to explore. Secrets are currency.” He kisses my cheek, then gets up. “I’ll get the servants to bring us something to eat. You shouldn’t be in public with red eyes like that. They’ll think you’re emotional and weak.”

Emotion is not a weakness, but I don’t want to argue with him. In fact, Mallor told me the same thing.

“Thanks,” I say.

“Anything for you.”

He opens his main door and rings a little bell, while I walk to the window and look at the bay. There are still gliders jumping from the Outer Hill, as if nothing happened. The truth is that nothing out of the ordinary happened.

Just another day in the Sky Academy.

I’m the one who isn’t the same anymore. I don’t know how much I believe about my classes, how much I believe about our kingdom, how much I even believe about Auranius, and it’s not Mallor’s words. It’s that I decided to stop trusting everything like a foolish child.

And then I think about Ava and Vos, so little, so lovely, so innocent. It’s my fault they’re here, stuffed into that room. My fault that the rider didn’t carry them away from this ghastly castle. But how am I going to fix my mistakes?

Protect them, he said. I hear it now not as a threat, but as a plea. But how can I protect them? How can I save them?

Alayel wraps his arms around me from behind. “They’ll bring something soon.”

His strong grip around me is comforting, healing, and washes away some of my horror, my pain.

Can I keep secrets from him?

23

As I step out of the academy, I exhale a long breath of relief.

Perhaps it’s just that I’m tired of the stuffy air in that building, tired of not being able to smell anything. I’m also thankful that I’m allowed free movement in and out of the academy, especially now, when I need to see my brother more than ever.

A whoosh above me makes me look up, and I see Auranius flying above the city. Revulsion twists in my gut, replacing that old sense of awe when in the presence of the gigantic dragon.

I consider Alayel’s point that we need to give Auranius something he wants, but the problem is that after seeing what he does, my trust in the kingdom broke. If one thing is wrong, one thing is false, why would everything else be upstanding and true?

Mallor’s explanation that it’s all a ruse to feed Auranius makes more sense than the idea that we need to fly to disorient the invaders, and on one point I’ll have to agree with Alayel; when something makes sense, it’s hard to dispute it.

Mallor. My… nothing. I don’t hold any anger, any sadness, any wound toward him. How can there be any feeling for someone who never existed?

It’s only my mother’s absence that hurts. My mother, who at least used to be someone in my life, who sang me songs, told me stories, and crocheted headbands.

Mallor, whose name I always thought was Sonos, was nothing. Always nothing. At least he’s willing to help now.

And to protect my brother, I’ll take any help I can, no matter from whom, no matter what I feel—or don’t feel—about them.

When I raise a fist to knock on the back door of the restaurant, I realize my hand’s trembling, perhaps still due to the shock of what I saw in Auranius’ lair, or maybe fear.

I don’t even know what I’m going to do, how I’m going to fix everything. For now, I just want to make sure that whatever happens, whatever I decide, Kaio’s safe.

Laristella opens the door and gives me a surprised look. “Mayara?”