Page 38 of Under Restless Skies

He rolls his eyes. “Nobody even knows you.”

“Right? I’m a nobody.” And that’s the other problem; the power imbalance between us. “So let me go where I belong.”

His expression softens. “You belong with me. But I’ll let you go. You don’t need to return to that dreadful dorm. There’s a room three doors to the left of it that was arranged for you. Your master key will work.”

“A room?”

He nods. “It was part of my negotiations. I tried, Mayara. You think I didn’t, but just imagine me arranging the terms of my recognition as a prince, while annoying them about a rejected trial candidate. But I got a room for you. Yes, I was hoping you would stay here, but having your own room means people wouldn’t wonder where you are. Wouldn’t talk. See? I do care about your reputation. When you change your mind, let me know.”

I don’t want to say I will, so I mutter, “Thanks.”

“And we’ll reverse this decision. You’ll be a recruit. Remember I get everything I want, and I want to make you happy.”

That doesn’t make any sense. “Why?”

“You know why.” His stare is deep, intense, and disconcerting. For a second, I want to stay here. I want to kiss him, but then I remember the nasty way he talked about his previous lover. Not only that; I think about a cleaning lady and a prince. He obviously wants only one thing from me.

“Tell me,” I whisper. “The space between unsaid words is ripe for misunderstanding.”

“Truths aren’t pretty, Mayara.”

“Tell me.”

He takes two steps toward me. “I want you naked in my bed, legs spread for me, while you scream Your Highness.”

I tremble, and I don’t know if it’s desire, revulsion, anger, or shame in realizing that in fact, he only wants one thing from me. “That’s… very honest.”

“I’m truthful. It means you can trust me.”

“Right.”

I turn to walk back to the closet, but he pulls my hand and points to the golden door on the left.

“That way. The servants’ stairs have a blue door. Go down six floors and you’ll find your room. I’ll be here, thinking of you.”

“Good night.”

I walk away, my heart making a racket in my chest. Anger? Desire? Perhaps the only clear feeling is confusion. So much confusion.

And yet I have a key. Maybe it will let me uncover some hidden treasure. Maybe I’ll find a way to change my future. What I can’t do is give up.

I forgot to ask about where to get dinner. Forgot everything, in fact.

As I walk back to my room, I alternate between feeling proud of myself for refusing Alayel’s offer, and upset that I had to refuse it. I mean, I could just have taken the room and not slept with him. Not that sleeping with him sounds bad. And that’s the problem: had I stayed in his quarters, I don’t know if I would have resisted him. And then, after that, I’m sure he’d kick me out and humiliate me.

So I’m proud of saying no. But there’s a part of me thinking that maybe he likes me, and even if he doesn’t like me, it surely doesn’t hurt to be close to the prince. The issue is that I don’t want favors. I don’t want to depend on Alayel’s whims. I want to carve my own place in this kingdom, and make sure it’s due to my merit. I earned the entry into this academy. Why does Alayel make it seem that he’s doing me some big favor by letting me attend classes?

My steps slow. He said that he did try. I place a hand over my chest. He even gave me this key. But what if it’s a lie?

That’s the answer as to why I need to stay away from him: my mind’s too confused to make any decision, especially one that I could regret.

The third door to the left of the dormitory is locked. I insert the so-called master key into the hole, unsure if it will do anything. To my surprise, the lock clicks open and I enter a small, windowless room with a single bed, a drawer chest, and a writing desk, lit by a tiny lumos jar with a cover beside it.

The room is clean and the bed has covers, a pillow, and sheets. Not bad at all except for the absence of windows, but comfortable enough. I’m not sure how I’m going to wake up tomorrow, but at least I have a place to sleep.

I exhale a long breath, glad I didn’t stay in Alayel’s quarters, then proceed to empty my bag of the few possessions I brought: some clothes, a nightgown, hair accessories, brushes. There’s even a small roll of bread that I think Laristella put there. I eat it, wondering if I’m about to miss the stern Grease & Spice owner. I do wonder how things are going there, and if my brother is enjoying having the room to himself. Everything is so confusing here that I don’t even know when I’ll be allowed to visit him.

My breath falters. I don’t know if I’ll get paid anything, and if I’ll be able to help him get an apprenticeship. I close my eyes, annoyed at the unfairness of it all.