Page 1 of Watching the Earl

Chapter One

March 1818

Lady Georgina Bridgeman paced the confines of her room, the pain in her chest making it hard to breathe. No matter how many tears she cried, it still hurt. It was one thing to live with the knowledge no one wanted her, but to be told she was wanted—no, loved—and then betrayed was too much to bear.

She stopped at the window, though the gloomy scene outside had not changed in the few minutes since she last looked. The small courtyard at the back of the townhouse revealed the bare branches of the rosebushes and the wet stones of the narrow path. The scene didn’t help her melancholy at all.

Spinning about, she flounced onto her bed, but staring up at the drab brown canopy did little to lighten her mood. If only she could go to Armand’s bakery and indulge her love for sweets, anything to change her disposition. The walk would be so much better than staying cooped up inside, but she was relegated to the house as if it were her fault Lord Ashfield had led her astray. It was exceedingly unfair.

She rose once again to pace the length of her room. She’d go to the parlor and dining room if Lady Edgerton was out, but her mother had not left due to the rain. There had to be—

A knock sounded on her door.

She flew across the room to yank it open. Her dear friend Sophie stood on the threshold, a soft smile on her face as wisps of her fine brown hair curled about her temples from the humidity. “Sophie!”

Georgina didn’t give her friend a moment and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her. “I’ve missed you so. Did you get my letter?”

Sophie took Georgina’s hands in her own gloved ones. “I did, and I’m so sorry it has been a full fortnight. The Curious Ladies have all been hard at work for you. Do you know that Ellie came to visit but your mother wouldn’t allow it?”

The news had Georgina squeezing her friend’s hands too hard, so she quickly let go. “I didn’t. She’s determined to punish me. She acts as if it was my fault. She’s the one who encouraged me to write to him. She said that I should accept his gifts. And now, because he is to wed another, I have shamed her.” As she thought of Lord Ashfield, her eyes began to water. “He must have been forced to wed Lady Ann. I just can’t believe he could be so cruel.”

Sophie pulled her into a hug. “You poor dear. Come sit, and I shall distract you with all the news.”

Not wishing to appear ungrateful for the visit, Georgina refrained from denying that anything could distract her from her misery and walked with Sophie to the small table with two chairs set near the fireplace. “You must tell me how you managed to convince my mother to see me. She has not allowed me a single visitor, and now you say she turned away Ellie, a marquess’s wife! That’s not like my mother, as she is quite impressed with titles, as you know.”

“Yes, I do know that. I have the Duke and Duchess of Northwick to thank for being allowed to see you. I shared your dilemma with them, and you can be assured they will not tell anyone. In fact, the duke was quite angry that your parents allowed this to happen.”

“He was? He didn’t blame me? My parents blame me. Everyone will blame me.”

“Oh, Georgie, we don’t blame you. I, of anyone, know how much your mother encouraged your communication with him. What’s most important is that no one ever learns of this. I’m sure that is what’s foremost in your parents’ minds, and why they have not allowed you to go out and about.”

A knot formed in Georgina’s stomach. “I hadn’t thought of that. They must be afraid that I’d tell someone, and we know I would. How could I not? My heart is breaking.” She was well aware she couldn’t keep a secret. She just wanted to make people happy, and sharing news always made people happy.

Sophie reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Did you truly fall in love with him, then?”

“Love? No, but I’m sure I would have. It’s just that—and I know this sounds selfish—he said he loved me, and it filled this emptiness in my heart to know someone finally found me worthy.” Georgina held up her hand as Sophie opened her mouth to speak. “I know all my classmates from the Belinda School for Curious Ladies love me, and I’m so grateful my mother shipped me off to the school. It’s the first time I ever felt wanted.”

“What I meant was that a man found me worthy. I know I could have loved him. He said such beautiful things about me. Do you know he said I sing like a bird? He must be tone-deaf, because you know I can’t sing. It’s one reason I admire the birds so much.”

Sophie let go of her hand. “I do know. I believe, as do the other Curious Ladies, that Lord Ashfield wanted you to think he loved you. My husband is quite sure that the man will continue to try to lead young ladies astray, even though he is now married. But we don’t care about him, and neither should you.”

“It’s so hard to see a dream I thought fulfilled, my only dream, ravaged like a newly laid egg by a raven. All I wished for is to be loved. I didn’t think it would be so difficult. I’ve tried very hard to follow all the rules and to be accommodating. And now…now the hardest part is knowing that my dream will never happen. I’m sullied goods.” Georgina stilled as a thought occurred. “Does anyone else know? Have you heard any whispers among the ton? I don’t think I could be in public anywhere if anyone suspected.”

“Rest assured, I have not heard a word. All the Curious Ladies are keeping their ears open for any slight they might hear. I’m sure your mother hopes to keep this quiet until she finds you a husband.”

Even at the thought, a shiver raced up her spine. “Sophie, I’m terrified about whom she might find to wed me. I’m quite sure it will be someone old or hideous. Lord Ashfield is very handsome, and he said he loved me. I’d have never allowed such liberties if he hadn’t declared that. He told me he wanted me in his life forever!” Unable to sit any longer, she rose and walked back to the window, but looked at Sophie instead of the dreary courtyard. “I was a fool, and now I must enter a loveless marriage with a stranger, who will probably hate me. It will be like living under my family’s roof all over again. I don’t know if I could bear it.”

“Oh, don’t say that, Georgie. I’m sure your family doesn’t hate you.”

“No, I’m sure they do, long before this happened. My mother has often stated that she wished I wasn’t born and blames my father for my very existence. My brothers have been indifferent, but my older sisters never missed an opportunity to be cruel. Being at school showed me a completely different world, where my friends are kind and we care about each other. I don’t know if I can face living in a house where I’m hated and unwanted, now that I’ve experienced something different. I’m just not that strong.”

Sophie rose and walked toward her, taking her hands. “I promise you will not be in such a house. Come, where is the Georgie who always plays devil’s advocate when we are in class? If I said to you that you will marry an ugly man who wishes he didn’t have to take you as a wife, what would your counter be?”

“I don’t know. I can’t debate my true feelings.”

“Come, try.” Sophie let go and stepped back.

Georgina tried to imagine a different future. “Maybe I’ll marry a handsome young man who is anxious to have a wife because he’s been too shy to approach any other lady.”