Page 82 of Watching the Earl

The dowager waved her hand as if it was not worth considering. “I’m not here to chastise you. I’m here because my son came to me this afternoon with a most surprising tale.”

“Was he looking for me?”

“Indeed he was, and when he didn’t find you, he was quite beside himself.”

Georgina frowned. “I don’t understand. The last I saw him, he was furious with me.” Or perhaps he wished her back for more torture, but she kept that to herself. “Is he afraid my being here will cause the Durham name some slight?”

“My dear, he was worried about you, and quite frantic to find you. Luckily, Berry had sent me a note this morning letting me know you were here, but don’t worry. I didn’t tell him where you were, only that you were safe, as I wished to hear from you what caused such a rift so soon in your marriage.”

Georgina looked down at her hands, crinkling the folds of her day dress. “We had an argument in which he led me to understand that living without me would be more pleasant, so I’ve requested an annulment.”

“Mother, what she means is my brother told her he married her to punish himself for not coming home when father was ill.”

At Berry’s statement, Georgina looked up to find the dowager’s blue gaze widen. “Unfortunately, that does sound like Philip. Georgie, you must know that hiding from him and asking for an annulment is torture for my son. If he did marry you for such a silly reason, then you’re fulfilling his wishes now. Surely you don’t want him to have what he wants if you’re unhappy with him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Truly? My dear, he loves you and, with a terrible rumor going about, wishes to protect you. He feels helpless right now. He wants to make it right. I believe he wishes to apologize.”

Not able to sit still any longer, Georgina rose and strode to the window. How could she explain to Philip’s mother that an apology wasn’t enough, especially when she was quite sure he only wished to keep the family name from being slandered?

She stared outside and caught sight of a male blue tit who landed on a bush. He puffed up his feathers and preened. She looked for the female he was trying to impress, but didn’t see her. Then the little bird flew to another branch of the bush, diving between the leaves, only to come out with a caterpillar in his beak. He flew up to a tree not far away, obviously gifting the lady blue tit with the meal. Georgina still couldn’t find the female, but the male came out to the end of a branch, minus the caterpillar, and fluffed himself again.

The bird courtship just saddened her all the more. She and Philip hadn’t had a true courtship. He’d needed her and she’d needed him, both because of societal opinion—though, to be fair, their circumstances had been dire. Still, he’d hurt her more than Lord Ashfield, because she loved Philip, and he knew she did. Even if he thought being married to her would be uncomfortable at best, how could he think she had lied to him?

“Georgie, Philip told me why you two married.”

At the dowager’s statement, she spun around in surprise. “He did?”

“He did. He told me that he’d lost an enormous bet that would have cleared his coffers and Crestfield of everything, even the servants and furniture.”

“I knew it. The man just doesn’t learn, does he?” Berry’s anger toward Philip had Georgina wanting to defend him, but she kept her lips pressed together.

The dowager shook her head. “Don’t be too hard on your brother. Philip, like you, was hurting from your father’s passing, and he did blame himself. I’m afraid he had to lose everything before he could appreciate what it meant to truly be Lord Durham.” She looked at Georgina. “So he married you to save Walter’s legacy.”

Relieved that Philip hadn’t explained her own situation, she tried to reason why he would tell his mother only his own folly. “Why did he tell you that? My dowry paid the debt and all was saved.”

“I believe he wanted me to know how grateful he was to you. He said he’s lost without you.”

Berry snorted, getting a frown from her mother. “That man has never admitted to needing anyone. Truly, Mother. I love my brother, but he’s far too arrogant to admit that he needs someone…or that he’s wrong.”

The dowager rose and walked to Georgina. “It took a lot for him to admit to me that he’d lost everything. I truly believe he needs you.”

“But does he love me?” She hadn’t meant to say it aloud, but couldn’t take it back.

“I cannot say. He always hides things from me, so much like his father.” The dowager shook her head. “Will you see my son? I believe only you will know the answer to that.”

Georgina cocked her head, disappointed that Philip couldn’t even tell his mother that he loved his wife. “I will think upon it.”

The dowager sighed. “I can see that Philip has hurt you deeply. If it helps to know, I believe it hurts him as well. He never was very good at being the one at fault. I’m saddened to see two of my favorite people so dispirited and contemplating being forever apart. If you love each other, you can find a way. Trust me, forever without one’s spouse is an eternity.”

The dowager turned around and kissed Berry on the cheek before she glided out of the parlor.

Georgina watched as the former Lady Durham left, feeling as if she were disappointing the dowager. Maybe she was being too selfish.

“I think you should let my brother mull over his actions for a while.”

At Berry’s pronouncement, Georgina looked at her, surprised. “You do? For how long?”