Page 100 of The Best Bad Decision

“I know, baby.” Had that been something he was stressed about? “You can always come to me with fantasies, ideas, or questions. Always. If there’s a topic you want to explore or somewhere you want to go, we’ll talk about it and figure out how to make that work within our limits.”

That time when he went still it felt more thoughtful than fearful, and I knew I was right when he let out a long breath and nodded. “We come to a compromise based on our limits, but we’ve already found so far that your outer limits are a lot wider than mine currently.”

He was going to need a few more reminders about that.

“Because this is new to you and you’re still figuring out what parts you like.” That was perfectly normal. “It’d be weird if you already knew everything you wanted and you didn’t want to explore anything.”

I’d met people who liked that kind of box around them, but I couldn’t relate to it.

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a new hobby or a new job, everyone starts at the beginning.” Sitting straighter, something shifted perspectives in his sexy brain. “You’ve made sure I have good information to help with research and I’m feeling more confident about it.”

We were tucked far enough back in the restaurant that as long as we were quiet no one would hear, but I dropped my voice just in case. “Why are you so confident about this? I know that sounds like a ridiculous question but part of me wonders why you haven’t had a big freak-out moment.”

Might as well get that question out while I had dessert at the ready for emotional emergencies.

I wasn’t sure if I’d just fucked things up or not but I loved the way he frowned thoughtfully instead of just reacting. He had to test my patience and my ability to sit quietly, but eventually he came back to life…still frowning and looking adorable.

“Well, I’m going to retain my right to have a freak-out at some point. I think that’s reasonable just in case.” I wasn’t sure about that but it was funny. He was still in his serious headspace, though, so I tried to match his expression as I nodded.

It seemed to hit him right because he relaxed again and settled back in his seat more comfortably as he lost interest in the last of his dessert. “I think I’m going to start with this is the first time in my life that I don’t feel stressed or awkward.”

It was definitely a good place to start.

“I don’t have to keep guessing what will make you happy. I don’t feel like I’m always behind relationship-wise.” He chuckled as he shook his head. “My blood pressure was so much lower in my last physical my doctor wanted to know what my new routine looked like.”

I tried not to laugh but ended up choking and still drawing attention to us. When I could breathe again, I shook my head. “I never thought to help you prep for that kind of question.”

It hadn’t occurred to me that it could have that kind of measurable effect on him.

“He really didn’t like it when I had nothing to say about it.” Atlee’s frustrated huff had me fighting back more laughter. “It seemed to have personally offended him.”

I could understand that.

“Maybe you should’ve said you’ve been meditating? It’s almost the truth.” He certainly spent a lot of time being very still and focusing on one thing…me.

Atlee couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to laugh or shake his head, so he shifted back to the original question. “For some people this would’ve been a bigger shock. I’ve seen that online with some of the personal stories subs have shared. But pieces just fell into place for me, and let’s face it, on a very practical level you’re good at explaining this.”

My not-so-humble shrug had his smile peeking out. “You make me feel very normal, which might be why it’s so confusing to watch other people at that coffee shop. They don’t come across as normal in any way.”

Rolling my eyes, I sighed. “They’re not a good example of anything related to being a human. We need to introduce you to more reasonable people in the lifestyle.”

It wouldn’t be hard to find because nearly anyone would look saner compared to Spoon Guy.

Some men never grew up no matter how antique they got.

“It is normal for us. We’re both getting the things we need to be relaxed and steady, a lot of people take a while to see it like that.” Atlee was brilliant in a lot of ways but not when it came to relationships, so I still felt my question had been reasonable.

“If it’d made me feel off-center to begin with or if you’d have come across as more nervous, it might’ve been different.” He shrugged as he went quiet like he was trying to picture the different path we might’ve taken. “I liked the very concrete base you started us out with. If it’d been a trampoline, it would’ve made me uncomfortable.”

Giving him a smirk, I raised my hands to the side. “What can I say? Steady is sexy and sometimes underappreciated.”

“Not by me.” His quiet response went right to my heart and I found myself reaching for his hand. As I squeezed it, he smiled. “Steady is very sexy and truly appreciated.”

“You keep being this sweet and you’re going to test my ability to make good decisions in public.” He just made me want things when he looked at me like that.

“Then let’s go home.” His grin said I looked entirely too eager for it. “I’m ready for your best bad decision.”

Chapter 30