Page 118 of Hard to Get

“Yeah. That whole wedding got me thinking stupid thoughts. About love and marriage and forever. Fuck.” I drop my head forward. “I was all moved by her tears. Verklempt from the music. Sappy about the happiness of the bride and groom, who I don’t even know.”

“Yeah, weddings will do that to you.”

“You want to get married someday, right?”

He shrugs. “Sure. I guess.”

“Me too. I figured one day, it would be me up there saying vows to someone. And… lately I’ve been thinking it might be Stella.” To be honest, “might be” isn’t accurate. I’ve been thinking… I want it to be her. “And then she told me marriage is for suckers.”

“That’s cold.”

“I know. I mean, she’s been clear that she doesn’t need a man. But I didn’t know she doesn’t even believe in love. Except she told me she loved Colin Fuckface.”

“Uh… this is an ex?”

“Yeah. She fell out of love with him because he needed a mother, not a girlfriend.”

“Esti!”

I don’t know exactly what that means but I know it’s a swear. “Right? What a dickhead.”

“Her parents have been married five times between them. I guess it’s understandable that she’d think love doesn’t last.”

“Truth.”

“It’s not as if I proposed to her. I was just telling her how I feel.” I blow out a breath.

“You two have only known each other a couple of months.”

“True.”

“Maybe that’s just too fast for her.”

I cock my head. “Huh. Could be.” I pause. “Did I fuck everything up by telling her that too soon?”

“I don’t know, man.” LG sips his beer. “What did she say? She doesn’t want to see you anymore?”

“No. She does. She just doesn’t want it to be serious.”

“Hmmm.”

“I don’t know what to do about this.”

“You want advice from me? Let her go. There are lots of women out there.”

I stare at him. The idea of never seeing her again feels like a dagger twisting in my gut. Anguish squeezes my lung. Fuck yeah. I’m falling for her. The idea of her seeing someone else, maybe falling in love with someone else, makes my insides burn like hot coals.

“I don’t want any other women.”

“Then don’t let her go. Fight for her.”

I snort out a laugh. “You’re a big help. Didn’t you learn that no means no?”

“Did she tell you no? Did she tell you to go away and never come back?”

“No…” He has a point. “I talked to my sister about that, too, how Stella’s so independent and self-sufficient. Sometimes, I felt I was a third wheel… like she had someone or something else I was competing with for her attention. But it wasn’t someone, it was just her life. Her orchids. Her dog. Her…” I pause. “Her friends. Alanna told me Stella wasn’t going to give up her great life for someone who doesn’t make her life better. And I was all, how do I compete with that? You know?”

“Yeah.” He nods.