Page 31 of Hard to Get

“He is a hockey player,” I agree quietly. “But I’m trying to think of any red flags and I’m coming up with zero.” And that’s a problem.

“Isn’t being a hockey player enough of a red flag?” Alexis says. “I just don’t want you…” Her voice trails off.

Again, I know what she means. “Don’t worry, Lex. I’m a big girl.”

Her mouth tilts into a crooked smile. “I know.”

“That’s all pretty good for a man you barely know,” Gracie says.

Yeah. It is. And I should be running for the Rocky Mountains.

I thought I met a fun guy I could have a hot fling with. Perfect. But Gracie is right. He’s the absolute wrong guy for me… because he could easily be someone I could fall for.

I have to end things with him.

“Betty! Hello!” My mom greets Betty with open arms and she scrambles to Mom when I let her off her leash at her place. Mom picks her up and she enthusiastically swipes her tongue toward Mom’s face. Mom loves her, but she won’t let her lick her face. “Who’s a good girl? You’re such a good girl! I haven’t seen you for so long!”

I smile as I hang up her leash and take off my shoes at Mom’s front door. The house smells deliciously of roasting turkey. “She missed you, too.”

Then Betty discovers that Harrison is here too, sitting in the living room, and she barrels in there and leaps onto Harrison’s lap where he’s sitting on Mom’s couch.

“Hey, girl.” Harrison grins and grabs her. “Calm down. I’m happy to see you, too.”

Betty’s tongue hangs out as she breathes loudly in excitement. Her curled-up tail and entire back end vibrate.

Harrison’s fiancée Meredith is the next recipient of Betty’s joy. Luckily, she likes dogs, too. Otherwise she wouldn’t be allowed to join the family. Kidding.

“Down, Betty,” I say, although I know Meredith doesn’t mind her on her lap. “Control yourself.” I fish a treat out of a bag in my purse and hand it to her.

“Would you like a glass of wine, Stella?” Mom asks.

“Mmm. I’ll wait for dinner and have one then, since I’m driving.”

“Okay.” Mom takes a seat in an armchair and I do as well.

“Where’s Neil?” I ask Mom, referring to her latest boyfriend.

Her face tightens and the air in the room goes static. “We broke up.”

“Oh no.” I straighten. “What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

Her expression says otherwise.

And in an instant, I am flashing back in time to the night Mom scared the hell out of me. I was fifteen and confused about why she was going out with so many men when she and Dad had just split up. Most of them I never met but, one night, she asked Harrison and me to stay home to meet this man when he came to pick her up. She was giddy with excitement because she thought it was serious. All dressed up in a black dress from Walmart, her makeup done, her newly blonde hair styled, she was having a glass of wine. I was doing homework and I was sick about meeting this guy who could be my “new dad.” I didn’t want another dad. I wanted my old dad back.

But her date never showed up. Mom called him and he didn’t answer. She had another glass of wine. And another. I sat there feeling nauseated. She started crying, sobbing uncontrollably, mascara running down her face. She was beside herself. Then she got pissed. There was a vase of flowers on the living-room table that he’d given her. They were almost dead at that point but she picked up the vase and heaved it against the wall. The glass broke, and water and half-dead flowers went everywhere.

It scared the shit out of me. I wanted to run and lock myself in my room but I was too worried about her and what she might do, so I tried to calm her down. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was afraid I was going to have to take her to the hospital or something. I kept telling her it didn’t matter, the guy was a jerk, she didn’t need him. I got her into bed. She had some sleeping meds because she’d been having trouble sleeping and she got me to get a couple of pills for her. Harrison had left before she melted down, so it was just me. And when she was asleep, I sat on the living-room couch and cried my eyes out. I felt utterly alone, abandoned not only by my dad but now by my mom. Alone and terrified.

She doesn’t like to be alone. At first, I didn’t really get it. But over time, I realized she uses men and romantic relationships to fill some kind of void in her life. Which is exactly how she ends up with men who aren’t right for her. And I feel sorry for her.

“I’m sorry,” Meredith says.

I give my head a shake, trying to calm the queasy turmoil in my stomach and pay attention.

“I’m not.” Harrison frowns. “He was full of himself.”