Page 37 of A Shared Mind

Tender kisses feathered over the back of my neck, so I knew Justin was awake. “That was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a while.” I turned from his embrace and lifted his chin to see a sweet smile. “Good morning, darlin’.” A quick kiss to his forehead seemed appropriate.

Justin giggled. “Is that what you call all your bunkmates?”

He was damn cute. “No. I’ve never had the opportunity to have a pet name for anyone. How’d you sleep?”

“You didn’t have a pet name for Hun… Sorry. None of my business.” His face flushed, which was adorable.”

“Uh, no. Hunter wasn’t fond of anything mushy. In fact, most people didn’t know he was gay, much less engaged to a man because he wore his ring on a chain around his neck. He didn’t want people who contacted him for vet work to judge him because of his orientation.” It sounded terrible when I said it out loud, but that was the arrangement we’d agreed upon when we got engaged.

I’d always suspected the reason Hunter had dragged his feet when it came to planning the wedding or hiring an architect to build the barn behind the main house was because he wasn’t ready to accept himself as gay. His parents hadn’t been thrilled about the two of us getting married, as I’d witnessed myself while we were together.

“Why do you have to shove it in peoples’ faces? If you must be gay, be discreet about it.” His mother had reamed the two of us after Hunter—surprisingly—accepted my proposal. We’d been together for nearly five years. It didn’t seem far-fetched to me that we’d want to be together for the rest of our lives, but as Melanie said her piece, I’d seen the remorse on Hunter’s face. It broke my heart.

I was so incensed by Melanie’s chastisement that I left the party without Hunter because he said if he left with me, it would make him look bad in front of his parents’ friends. Mama hadn’t been invited, but when I told her about it, she was pissed. She wanted to call Melanie to “give that wretched woman a piece of my mind,” but I talked her down off the ledge. I loved her so much for her vehement reaction to what happened.

Those were some of the unhappy memories I’d blocked out when I thought of my relationship with Hunter. I didn’t allow myself to wonder if Hunter and I would have actually walked down the aisle because it made me sad. It seemed as though he’d been trying to go forward with our wedding plans, but something always kept him from making final decisions that get the ball rolling. Maybe he just didn’t know how to tell me he didn’t want to marry me?

As the words entered my mind, my heart clenched. I hated the idea that perhaps he’d been planning to call off our engagement when he figured out how to do it without hurting me.

Hunter had been dead set against running our engagement pictures in the paper by claiming that trying to start a new business was hard enough without airing his sexual laundry, which made sense at the time. His words were the basis for me forbidding Mama from scheduling a formal engagement photoshoot at the farm.

Looking back on it, maybe his protests were about more than just starting a business. I was trying not to think of it as his way of keeping us a secret.

“Clay, I’m so sorry for bringing up your deceased fiancé. I didn’t mean—”

“No, Justin. It’s not a problem. Ask any questions you have, and I’ll answer them. So, I was thinking, if you want to go to St. Louis to check into Ramon’s death, maybe you wouldn’t mind if we stopped by my farm to check on my mama?”

Justin’s face lit up. “You’d take me to meet your mother?”

I laughed before kissing the gorgeous man, our tongues swirling together as if they were meant for each other. “Oh, hell, yeah. Mama would love to meet you.”

“I’ll pick you up after I catch a shower and check out of the hotel. I’ll be back in an hour, okay?” I held Justin in my arms as we stood by the front door of his apartment.

Justin and I made breakfast together—fluffy scrambled eggs and buttery toast—and it was fantastic to have a companion in the kitchen. Hunter tried, but he couldn’t boil water.

“I’ll be ready. Just text me when you get here, and I’ll come down. Parking is a bitch around here, which is why I took a rideshare to the restaurant.” Justin kissed me again before I left him, hurrying down to my truck. He wasn’t kidding. The street and small parking lot behind his building were full to capacity.

“Okay, Clay. Get your shit together. Comparing Hunter and Justin isn’t fair to either of them. Hunter and I had our relationship, and if fate is kind, Justin and I will have ours. No two relationships are the same.” And now, I was talking to myself. Out loud. In my truck. Hell, maybe I was losing it.

After a quick shave and shower, I decided to call Mama to tell her I was planning to bring Justin to the farm. Knowing her, she’d want the warning.

I sat on the side of the bed and hit the contact. The phone only rang once before she answered. “Hi, Clay. Everything okay, honey?”

“Hey, Mama. Everything’s just fine. I wanted to give you a head’s up that I’m coming to the farm in a few hours to stay for a couple of days, and I’m bringing Justin with me. We’ll be there by lunch time.”

The silence had my stomach flipping. I thought she’d be jumping for joy, but apparently, I wasn’t the right person to determine what Mama would think.

There was a quiet sniffle before she spoke. “Does this mean—wait, what does this mean?”

I inhaled a deep, cleansing breath. “It means I’m trying, Mama. Justin needs to go to St. Louis for a project, and I’m going along to keep him company and help where I can. I want to show him around our place because it’ll help him make suggestions regarding our financial planning. I said that before, remember?”

“I do.”

I then took a breath and admitted, “I also want the two of you to meet.”

“Oh, joy! I’m so glad, Clay. I’ll make dinner for the three of us. Do you think he likes spicy food?” Mama was a great cook, and I was sure Justin would love anything she made.

“Not too spicy, okay? We’ve only eaten together a few times, and I haven’t noticed that he shies away from anything, but I can’t be sure. Maybe wait a bit before you unleash your hot wings on him?”