Page 7 of A Shared Mind

“No, no, no. He didn’t threaten me. He’s very nice, as a matter of fact, but I can’t make my brain work when I look at him. Steve gave me this client to do background on while he’s in St. Louis for a funeral. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

You want to fuck him, plain and simple. Or maybe you want him to fuck you. Where do you come down on that? Pitch or catch?

That voice was going to make me gouge out my eardrums. What the hell was it doing in my head?

“Okay, uh, let me come in with you.” She started toward the door when I grabbed her hand.

“Get your laptop. I said I was coming to get my laptop. Bring yours.”

Eve hurriedly ejected her laptop from the docking station. We both entered the conference room where Mr. Fines was standing by the window looking out on downtown Kansas City.

“Mr. Fines, this is my associate, Eve Murray. Eve, this is Clay Fines.”

Eve’s eyes roamed over the man like a hungry jackal. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to bring her into the room?

Man, you gotta find out which way he goes, so let’s see how he reacts to her. You never answered me regarding pitching or catching.

Fuck if I wasn’t losing my fucking mind at twenty-fucking-four. What the hell did I have to do to get that voice out of my head?

I was finally able to calm myself by the time Eve and I finished the meeting with Clay Fines. It was noon, lunch time. “Clay, would you come to lunch with us? There’s a nice barbecue restaurant down the street that serves a great brisket sandwich. Their babyback ribs are really good, too.”

Clay grinned, his cheeks flushing. “I wish I could, Justin, but I’ve got a little more business to look after here in town this afternoon. How about dinner tonight? I’m staying in town to take care of something in the morning before I head home. I wouldn’t mind a good steak.”

Eve, bless her beautiful hide, spoke first. “I’m sorry, Clay, but I have another commitment. Justin, you have nothing going on, right?”

See, she’s got class. I like her. You ever hit that?

I bit my tongue as Eve lifted an eyebrow at me in a move that said she dared me to contradict her. Her revenge could be quick and deadly.

I rolled my eyes. “No, Eve. I don’t have other plans.” I gritted that part out.

“Where are you staying, Clay?” My hands started to sweat at the realization that I was going to have to shake the man’s hand in a minute, so I shoved my right hand into the pocket of my suit pants to dry it.

“I’m about half a mile from here. Is there somewhere nearby where we can sit outside to eat? The weather’s still pretty decent.” Clay grinned at me.

“I know a great place. I have your number, so I’ll text you the address. How’s seven o’clock?”

Maybe you bring an overnight bag so we can get this done. He looks like a man who knows things. Again, pitch or catch? I’m ready to get your issue fixed so you can help me with mine.

I almost said, “fuck you”, out loud. I needed to get a grip on my mental ramblings before I started responding out loud. That therapist idea sounded better and better.

“Sure. That works. See you later. Eve, it was a pleasure to meet you.” Clay shook her hand before he turned to me, and I removed my clammy hand from my pocket.

“Very nice to meet you, too, Justin. Thanks for all your help clarifying a few things. I look forward to dinner.” I walked him out to the elevators and rode down with him.

“Me too, Clay.”

He stepped out of the building, gave me a quick wave, and walked down the sidewalk. I was ashamed to admit that I plastered my face against the glass door to watch him walk away.

Instead of taking the elevator back up to my floor, I went to the stairwell and checked to see if anyone was inside. When I was relatively sure I was alone with my psychosis, I growled. “What the fuck is going on? Justin, you’ve been through shit in your life without having a strange voice in your head playing devil’s advocate.”

Yeah, well, kid, the clock is ticking for me, and I don’t know how long I’ve got left. You dragging your feet on this ain’t getting me any closer to solving my problem. Just accept that I’m on board now and let’s move on.

“No! No fucking way am I going to sit back and let—I’m not crazy. I don’t need this shit right now. I have a newish job that I need to keep. This bullshit going on in my head has got to stop!”

Yes, I was in an empty stairwell at my place of employment, shouting at a voice only I could hear in my mind. Maybe this was when I went over the cliff, mental health-wise? Was I too young for a midlife crisis?

Kid, it’s gonna be fine. Let’s get to work.