Page 18 of Deviant Need

The sound of something crashing inside the apartment jolts me out of sleep on the couch, and I almost roll off onto the floor, barely catching myself in time as my heart hammers. More sounds echo from the hallway, followed by Mikhail cursing in Russian.

My phone screen lights up. 5:47 AM.

“Blyat,” Mikhail grumbles.

Pushing myself up from the couch, I find him in the entryway trying to untie his beat-up Converse. He’s failing miserably, fingers fumbling with the laces as he nearly tips over sideways before catching himself on the wall.

I’m so pissed at him. I shouldn’t have driven him to Ozero. I knew exactly what was going to happen and did it anyway because I’m the biggest idiot on this entire planet. He always hooks up with someone when he does this, and it destroys me.

I feel like some pathetic housewife waiting for him to come home, watching the clock and wondering who he’s with. I know he didn’t hook up with Cassie because, for whatever reason, she’s fixated on me instead of him, but fuck, what am I supposed to do? This hurts too much.

I hate my life.

“Danya?” He squints at me in the darkness like he’s trying to figure out if I’m real.

My eyes snap to him. He’s staring at me with pupils blown so wide I can barely see any blue, swaying dangerously before he catches himself on the wall.

My pathetic feet carry me over to him before I can think better of it.

Crouching down in front of him, I look up, jaw tight. “I’ll help you take off your shoes and get you to bed.”

“Nah, nah, I got it.” His accent is thick, words slurring together. He tries to bend down and nearly face-plants. “Shoes are being difficult today. Very rude shoes.”

“I said I’ve got it, Mikhail.”

He pauses and looks at me, confusion flickering across his face. “You sound mad. Are you mad? You’re doing that thing with your voice.”

I pull the laces loose on his first shoe, then the second, pulling them off rougher than necessary. Standing up, I reach for his arm, but he catches my hand instead and grins at me.

“You have nice hands. Did I ever tell you that? Very nice hands.”

I start hauling him toward the bedroom, but he stops dead in the hallway. Before I can react, he pulls me hard against him, the movement knocking the air out of my lungs as I stumble into him. My hands brace against his ribs and perfume hits me immediately, floral and sweet and definitely not his cologne. My stomach twists.

“Let me hug you,” he murmurs, wrapping his arms around me before I can shove him away. “Missed you so much. Was gone for like, what, five hours? Felt like forever.”

“Mik, let go.” I try to shove him, but he doesn’t budge.

He’s too strong, all that muscle and height advantage, and I’m trapped against him while he rubs circles up and down my back. He pulls me even closer, pressing his nose into my hair and breathing deep.

“Watermelon,” he says. “You always smell like watermelon, and it’s the best thing ever. Don’t change it. Ever. I’m serious. If you change shampoos, I’ll be so sad.”

Then he presses a kiss into my hair. He always becomes so touchy when he takes drugs, which makes my situation worse, so much worse. I move my hands from his ribs to his chest and shove hard. He stumbles backward with his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, almost going down before he catches himself.

“Wait, wait. Are you mad because I went out?”

“I’m not mad.”

“You are though. You’re doing the voice thing and the face thing.” He reaches for me again, and I dodge. “Danya, come on. Talk to me. Use your words.”

“You’re wasted. We’re not talking about anything right now.”

“I’m not that wasted. I can walk. See?” He takes two steps and veers sideways into the wall. “Okay, maybe a little wasted. But still. Why are you upset?”

“I’m just tired. It’s almost six in the morning, and you woke me up.”

We reach his bedroom, and I steer him toward the bed, but he turns and catches my wrist before I can retreat.

“Stay.” His fingers are warm around my wrist, grip loose but insistent. “Please? I don’t want to be alone. Everything’s spinning, and it’s better when you’re here.”