Page 77 of Deviant Need

“I don’t want to go back to girls, Danya. Being with anyone else after you feels fucking wrong. You don’t need to worry about me changing my mind because I won’t. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

The door bursts open, and some idiots walk out, forcing us to pull apart quickly. We can’t have this conversation here.

“Let’s go home. If you say no, I’m picking you up and walking out with you over my shoulder, and I don’t care who sees. So what’s it going to be?”

He bites his lip, shoots me a look, then takes my hand and laces our fingers together.

Chapter 17

Daniil

My bottom lip catches between my teeth as we make our way toward the elevator, heading up to our apartment from the parking garage. His hand brushes against mine while we wait, and even that barely-there contact sends electricity up my arm.

The ride up is torture. All I want is to pull him close and lace my fingers with his, but the cameras in here keep me frozen in place.

The second we make it into the apartment, he grips me tight and presses a kiss into my hair before taking my hand and leading me into the kitchen. I hop up on the counter while he starts pulling food out of the fridge and making us sandwiches.

“I know what we have is complicated. Every memory I have, you’re in it. But I’m surprised it took this long for something to happen between us,” he says, meeting my eyes. “Tell me what you want.”

My heart hammers against my ribs. “I want you. Whatever you’ll give me, I want it.”

“I’ll give you everything.”

The words hit me hard. Everything.

“You mean that?”

“Yeah, Danya. I mean it.”

He steps between my legs and kisses me, slow and deep, his hands coming up to cup my face. I kiss him back until my lungs burn and I have to pull away to breathe. The second our lips part, I wrap my arms around him and pull him close, needing him pressed against me.

He holds me tight, one hand sliding up to the back of my neck. We stay like that for a long moment, just breathing each other in, before he pulls back and grabs the sandwiches he made.

He hands me one and hops up onto the counter beside me, shoving half of his into his mouth in one bite. He groans around it, then pops open a soda and hands it to me before grabbing a bottle of water for himself.

“How would this even work?” I ask, needing to understand before my brain spirals.

“No one can know about us. They wouldn’t understand because it crosses too many lines. They’d say we’re sick, that growing up together fucked us up.” He pauses. “Maybe they’re right. But I don’t care anymore.”

“I know,” I say, hating that it’s true.

“What do you want in a relationship?” he asks suddenly. He turns his head to look at me. “We know everything about each other, right? But not that.”

My throat tightens. “I just want you. That’s all I want.”

He’s quiet for a second, processing that, then his mouth quirks into this small smirk. “Same here. Would you ever want to go on dates?”

“Dates?”

“Da. I want to take you out someday. Properly.”

Nodding, I bite my lip as heat crawls up my neck. “We’d have to go somewhere no one knows us.”

He hums. “I don’t get it. I’ve never been attracted to guys before, but then there’s you, and I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t think I’m gay or bisexual. I’m still straight. You’re just some weird exception to the rule.”

I raise my eyebrows, but he waves me off. I’m pretty sure fucking another guy and liking it means he’s not entirely straight, but whatever. I’m not making a big deal out of this when I finally have him, so I keep the grin threatening to spread across my face under control. He can have his denial if he needs it.

“I’m not,” he says, taking another bite. “I don’t get turned on by any other guy. Only you.”