Page 49 of Afterglow

Afrisson of energy radiates from our linked hands where they sway as we walk down Main Street. The trees are already losing their leaves and a nip in the air makes me glad I grabbed this beanie out of my glove box. I kind of wish I could pull it down over Leanne’s ears instead, but it wouldn’t work over the top knot she’s sporting.

I can’t wrap my head around everything she just told me about Craig and her family. She’s used to putting everyone else first… but who puts her first?

Me. I will put her first, and that starts with scrapping my plan to broach the subject of Sarah and Sam with her today. After the emotional turbulence she went through to explain all that to me, I won’t add to her plate just so I can unburden my own. There will be another time—a better time—to tell her.

She reaches into the pocket of her black puffer jacket and pulls out her phone. With barely a glance at the screen, she rolls her eyes and stuffs it back where it came from.

“Do you need to get that?” I ask, hoping it wasn’t her office. I’m enjoying the time together, even if we are a little lost in our own heads.

She shakes her head. “No. It’s only my family.”

“Ah.” I nod. “Have you talked to them at all since Sunday?”

She shakes her head again, the action loosening a tendril of hair so it falls into her face. I pull her to a stop without thinking and use my fingertips to push it behind her ear. She shivers and her head tilts almost imperceptibly into the touch.

When I finally force my hand to drop away, she continues. “No, I haven’t. The texts and missed calls have been piling up for days. I’m honestly surprised they haven’t shown up on my front porch yet.” Her countenance sags, like the prospect of having to explain things to her family is too daunting to comprehend.

“Do you want them to?” I ask, and get a noncommittal shrug in return. Alright, time to change the subject.

I glance up the street and find the perfect distraction two shops down. I offer her a smile and tug on her hand, pulling her along until we stop in front of Pink & Blue, a boutique baby store I didn’t know existed until this moment. Her eyes scan the picture window filled with all manner of baby items.

“We should go in,” I say, even with the uncomfortable chill in my chest at the prospect. I won’t let my own fears, or the sharp pain of loss, keep me from experiencing everything about this pregnancy with Leanne. And, after all this talk about her family, she could use a pick-me-up.

Her lips split into a smile and I note that their pink hue matches the color of her nose and cheeks from being out in the chilly air. I feel her smile like an arrow of heat to my heart, and the anxiety I was holding at bay dissipates in an instant.

I pull open the door and usher her inside. She shakes off the cold, turning on the spot. An awed smile stretches across her face now, and it knocks the breath out of me. She’s beautiful, and I’m a lucky man to get to see her like this.

Leanne trails her hand over a soft blanket in a rosy-pink hue, then moves right along to spin a blue bird mobile that hangs above a crib made of dark mahogany. I take note of every item she touches, what she gravitates toward. It’s an equal measure of boy items and girl items.

“Do you have a preference?” I ask. Her head tilts and her brows pull down in confusion. “Boy or girl?” I clarify.

“Oh.” She grins and shakes her head. “No, not really. Being one of three sisters, I might be better equipped for a girl. But honestly, I’m still amazed this is happening at all. I can’t imagine being disappointed either way. What about you? I bet you want a boy.”

My throat contracts, making my breath catch in my lungs as Sam’s name swims in my mind. I do my best to cover the reaction by looking away and using my hand over my mouth as I clear my throat. I probably shouldn’t have asked the question if I wasn’t prepared to answer it myself. With one last swallow, I answer, “Either. I just want them to be healthy.” The words feel like gravel on my tongue, rough and painful, even if they’re true.

I fix my eyes on a beautiful gliding chair in the corner, afraid she’ll see everything in them if I look at her right now.

Walking over, I push it gently. The wood base is polished and smooth while the cream cushions stand out against its dark stain. I sense Leanne beside me before I see her, but when I do glance down, her eyes are locked on the glider as well.

“Take a seat. Try it out,” I say.

She brightens and it reminds me I’m here for her. And with that, the rest doesn’t feel as hard.

She settles into the chair, letting her hands rest over her stomach, and a vivid picture comes to mind: her in a few months in this same chair, but with a stomach as round as a basketball. She begins to rock, and my pulse kicks at the sight. She’s giving me the greatest gift in the world.

“What?” she asks, studying me with those shrewd hazel eyes.

“Nothing. Just—thank you, for today,” I reply. “I know this is a lot and we may not be…” I gesture between us before forcing my hands into my pockets. “I really appreciate you letting me be here.”

She swallows and I watch her throat bob. “We may not be what?” she asks softly.

My stomach tightens. I guess we’re going to have this conversation now—one I stupidly walked us into—in the middle of this baby store.

“Together,” I clarify. My feet shuffle on the grey rug that I can’t seem to look up from. “I know you didn’t even like me when—when all of this happened, and I might not have been your first choice of men to have a baby with, but—”

“Bryce,” she interrupts, her voice curling around my name like a caress. I’m being self-deprecating and it’s not a good look, I know that, but it’s hard to know where she stands with us. “I can’t think of a better man to have a baby with.”

My mouth drops open, but I can’t form words.